when the world was new (and so was i)

"all is possible," mommy whispers, tucking a curl behind my ear.

eighteen years later i realize she only meant in that moment

and that moment is long past,

almost forgotten, save the subtle scent of lilac

and the fantastic hope

[she could be right].

 

i faintly recall saffron summer days

where i was amazed at the way the trees

were portals to another land

and the feel of their bark upon my hands

was sublime...

transporting me to another place,

another time.

 

the feeling of prickers (almost beautiful)

in the lines they left against my skin,

for their ragged tips were markers

of my journey.

and the dynamic quest i held within.

 

"all is possible," mommy assures me, pushing on my boots

as i press down, wrapped in mittens and earmuffs

and cocoa kisses.

little did i know she meant in that moment

(and that moment is long faded)

save for the lingering wisp of memory

and the marshmallow way

she hugged me.

 

somehow the feel of snow slipping inside my boots

-so uncomfortable- at the time

brings forth remnants of giggling abandon.

snow in hair, falling into eyes,

snow snow everywhere

*sparkling* with the sunshine.

 

"all is possible," mommy whispers once more into my ear,

noting the dark shadows beneath my eyes.

little do i know (this next part)

is up to me,

and if i could only see the magic in the trees

i could try again.

-this time with an appreciation-

for the prickers

against my skin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Phil R Jacobsen]

somehow the feel of snow slipping inside my boots

Fantastic. I grew up in the San Bernardino Mountains and it brought back quite a few memories. I mean, I know it's about a mother and daughter but I could still relate without questioning myself too much.

Phil

[PianoandPage]

i noted that you are reading "the artist's way" in your profile and although i have it i haven't really read it much... but this poem strikes me that you definately challenge yourself with your own writing. i see excellent use of so many poetic devices and the best part is they don't come off as forced or contrived. i am currently reading "spunk & bite" which is sort of another creative brainmeld to get out of that damned box.

ok onto the review.

"saffron summer days" - i love the alliteration here. also the great aromatic descriptor. i noticed you use scent a few times.

"wrapped in mittens and earmuffs
and cocoa kisses."

"and the marshmallow way
she hugged me." - i love how you use wintery comforts to describe love and affection.

i also really liked the different ways you chose to emphasize certain words and phrases. sometimes writers will overdue it and instead of reading and enjoying a piece i'll feel like i'm decoding an encrypted cipher. lol.

one more thing i liked was the repeated phrase "all things are possible". that kept the pace and tone steady as you moved to different memories.

although ultimately i felt that the tone was a little melancholie and hinted at a present fraught with anxiety and loss of innocence... in the end you flourish with hope. great write!

[Tomás Ó C..]

All is possible... bar the impossible. But... unless we try... nothing is possible...

[OilsandSyntax]

I love much about this peice...

"saffron summer days"..."cocoa kisses"...and "the marshmellow way she hugged me" I love the warm imagery you use to bring winter to life in the peice. I also love the way you use the trees to talk about imagination.
I think (and maybe it's just me so trust your own judgement here) you could tighten up the second to last stanza a bit....it seems to lack all the fantastic imagery and feeling the rest of the poem is wrapped in. I do love this peice and you've done an alltogether wonderful job.

[Cdnsurfer]

This was a wonderful, touching and thoughtful piece, Kara. To look back at the innocence and excited abandon of childhood, with the assurance that all would be right in the world. Before the wounds of life lay bare the flesh, sting the heart and wrestle confidence from an overloaded mind. Carefree days. Yes, life is not a fairytale, but if you can cling on to that child, hidden under the thick skin, and push her to the surface, ah then, life can be wonderful again. There are no bad choices and dark forests, there is only life, and if you can remember your heart, the heart of that child, you will always move "honestly" through life. Happiness is knowing you do what you were intended to do (no doubts, no fears). Everything will happen then as it should, as it is intended. You almost brought a tear to my eye...thinking on these beautiful words. You'll see the magic again...watch for it!!! ;-)

[Jane Doe]

This is a wonderful piece. I love the imagery you used, it brings me back to my childhood. Very well written.

[Cara]

don't know if it's just cuz it's late or what, but this one got my heart! Summer, Winter, the memories of the possibilities, Was it Mom's hidden secret that she didn't tell us it was just for that moment? Maybe by not saying we learned to be strong when everything else wasn't, and that's the secret we learned on our own.

[Ralphy]

Oh how sweet your innocence as instantly subdued memories of golden treasures, frozen in this moment of time are those same words percolated from your mom's lips. A most pleasant piece to bring back home those lost moments of my own. Thank you

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

This is so lovely .. today is my son's second birthday..
Loved your descriptions .. like in this verse:

i faintly recall saffron summer days

where i was amazed at the way the trees

were portals to another land

and the feel of their bark upon my hands

was sublime...

transporting me to another place,

another time.

Loved this poem ..

Chloe
xoxo

[Nicholas Hallows]

i faintly recall saffron summer days - brilliant!

[AK]

Good grief, when did you learn to write like this?
Dad never told me all things are possible, I had to figure that out on my own. Your Mom was exactly right though.