lifesoul

I am ignoring the soul of my life.

I am forcing personal constructs into a world
which will not accept

my faulty figments.

Foolishly I hold on to fading colors
attempting to imbue my life with personal rainbows
using a medium that continues to wash away.

I am ignoring the soul of my life.

Repeatedly I strive for that which [I believe]
keeps me alive
yet only succeeds in destroying something deep
[deep inside]

the re-appraisal process
is begging to begin - to let something
more effective than [delusions] in.

I am discounting the purest pieces
of the soulful part of me.
-ignoring fears by imploring tears-
avoiding the possibility of being
wrong all these years.
 
I am ignoring the soul of my life.

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Well since you have nothing new I need to go into your catoluge and get my fix of your words...
I fell upon this little gem...

So true that we can get lost in what we think we want that we begin to lose who we really are that's why this verse really hit me...

Repeatedly I strive for that which [I believe]
keeps me alive
yet only succeeds in destroying something deep
[deep inside]


Once again you takes us on a journey of deep feelings with such divine ease... this is why I find you to be one of the greatest writers I have ever known.

[Anhedonia 1349]

I read Leah's review, and it's not far off, really. We both know that I'm not a stickler for grammar - my article documents my feelings on such - but I do think that consistency is important. You sort of lost that when you dropped the caps but kept the punctuation; since I like the no-caps, however, my suggestion isn't to add them to the parts that are lowercase but to take caps out completely. Just a suggestion, but like I say - consistency is key.

The one thing that I picked up here - something that I haven't picked up elsewhere in your catalog - is your strong use of the English language. You used the word "imbue" in this stanza:
foolishly I hold on to fading colors
attempting to imbue my life with personal rainbows
using a medium
that continues to wash
away.

[Leah Simone]

There are many things to love in this poem.

On a technical note, your lack of capitalization confused me, because you used punctuation to a certain degree.

I liked the way you used the brackets and the bold font in the final line.

The adverb beginning of stanzas -- was not needed and weakened the statements, in my opinion.

I feel using verbs such as "force, hold, ignore, strive, begs, and neglects would be stronger than "ing" words.

I say these things to you with a great deal of respect for your art. I don't want to force my opinions onto your work, but merely offer them sincerely with the clear understanding -- you are the artist and it is YOUR poem to choose to change or keep as you see fit.

I like that you recognize what you are doing. It is as if you are saying, "I am aware of my spiritual hunger and I choose not to feed myself. I don't need anyone to point this out to
me."

This is an interesting concept and you have captured your emotions well. I liked this poem, Kara.

Sincerely,
Leah