i've been here before

okay fine. i refuse to apologize for this.

join me

in the midst of my redundancy

-me-

and my tender tendency

to cry.

 

i'm tearing at the corners

of my mind.

  

i often forget that i'm a pawn

in your game. 

do you love me? perhaps.

but it's all the same.

 

you'll whisper to me of future years

while telling her to pierce her c**t.

you'll speak of our children, and

the tree in the yard...

 

i can't believe i fell for that s**t.

 

you've sapped me of my strength.

i'm empty, replete.

but you've done this before,

(so not that impressive a feat),

 

i feel like a fool

asking you to 'hit me once more'

for if he beats me he loves me

 

and then i'm more than just his w***e.

 

but all the rationalizations in the world

do not decrease this pressing need

to be free 

to be free.

 

i have nothing left to give you.

 

you've emptied me.

Reviews

[Wulfstan Crumble]

Id be wary of Boylan style reviews. i just got blocked for doing one such a review. lol...dont apologise for it because its a poem that needed to be written. and here's a big HUG if you'll accept one!!!!
The poem has raw passion and vitriol without boiling over or falling into cliche. Its really biting and full of venom. Do you feel better after writing it?

ps. i hope Boylan isnt insinuating im too dumb to understand it...i do know where coventry is.

[Murphy]

You have captured such depth here... each line bleeds seamlessly into the next, leaving the reader feeling drained... with nothing left to give... emptied. Very powerful.

[Emily B]

There are very many wonderful lines here. THe kind that make you sit up and take notice.

[Jeanmarie Flaherty]

"for if he beats me he loves me"

THAT f*****g trap. If he bruises you, both emotionally and physically, he doesn't love you, those who leave marks do not love, they POSSESS. They don't know how to care for anything that is not a belonging. Pricks....

On another note, the poem WORKS...style is absolutely perfect for the emotion, you know, like the puzzle, it fits :)


hugs, dear, of course. I adore you :)

~me.

[An owl on the moon]

You offer brilliant clarity of emotional bleeding, a life being drained of joy and peace by the depravity of a vile thing. You show so well the pain so many experience, and the raw emotion of a heart torn open. Such passion comes from a deeper place than most can express...

Many HUGS!

Craig

[Bhavya Kaushik]

wow!! Its really a nice write overflowed with emotions....Or I should better say overflowed with "Anger"
Seems like every line is enchanting about your hurt, anger, betrayal, scars and all...

"i have nothing left to give you.

you've emptied me"--I loved these lines a lot.Quite a nice way of ending the piece too.

An awesome read overall :)

[E. M. Murren]

What a wonderful rant. I am sure you felt much better after writing this. You really expressed yourself well here. This isn't a piece to enjoy, per se, but it really is one to respect. Cheers.

[akarusty]

Wow. Hard-hitting stuff. The rhyming was abstract and spot on. Very emotional and it hits at anger that I don't see written as potently as this. Kudos.

[Wolfwind Words]

Another bad dude strikes again. Seems to be going around the wc alot! I have spear swords in my keep of imagination somewhere if it would help defend.
This work is strong, with a bitter end.
It may not be your usual but that just makes it usually unique!
Everyonce in a while one needs to vent!
I think you might consider a pg-13 rating though.. lol
Hope all will get better or already is for you!

[Travis Lawrence]

Oh my goodness, this is the definition of power. I mean, wow, Kara, that last line ... it leaves me empty. This piece is like an unexpected punch in the stomach, like having the wind knocked out and having it breeze around the world before it comes back. In the mood I'm in right now, that's my favorite kind of poetry :-)

It's your diction that sends it over the top, that is, makes it different and better than other poetry trying to do the same things. C**t, s**t, puke, and w***e shocked me, and made me tilt my head just a bit, but like I said, that adds to the flavor.

Then you throw in lines like:
"I'm tearing at the corners of my mind"
"i'm empty, replete,"
"You've emptied me"

And I really, really feel for you, because I've felt this empty before and cried in the corner of my mind, too (what an image!)

There is only one line that I thought detracted from the poem:
"i often forget that i'm just a pawn in your game."

It's been said before, cliche, you know? Far be it from me, though, to tell you what to write, but I would try to twist it or rewrite it into something the reader can tell you thought hard about to create.

Again, I love it and plan to add it to my reading list. Definitely hugs!

Have a nice day!

[Bubo]

And why not say what you feel, never say sorry for what is causing you pain and hurt..........
slap it down onto paper.........let the paper bleed the words.......such a very angry piece, every
right to feel anger, hurt, betrayal, and every right to feel that you have been emptied, but you know,
right now it might feel that way, but you have so much to give, to explore and discover, and
it will get better, truely.