i've been here before

okay fine. i refuse to apologize for this.

join me

in the midst of my redundancy

-me-

and my tender tendency

to cry.

 

i'm tearing at the corners

of my mind.

  

i often forget that i'm a pawn

in your game. 

do you love me? perhaps.

but it's all the same.

 

you'll whisper to me of future years

while telling her to pierce her c**t.

you'll speak of our children, and

the tree in the yard...

 

i can't believe i fell for that s**t.

 

you've sapped me of my strength.

i'm empty, replete.

but you've done this before,

(so not that impressive a feat),

 

i feel like a fool

asking you to 'hit me once more'

for if he beats me he loves me

 

and then i'm more than just his w***e.

 

but all the rationalizations in the world

do not decrease this pressing need

to be free 

to be free.

 

i have nothing left to give you.

 

you've emptied me.

Reviews

[Wulfstan Crumble]

Id be wary of Boylan style reviews. i just got blocked for doing one such a review. lol...dont apologise for it because its a poem that needed to be written. and here's a big HUG if you'll accept one!!!!
The poem has raw passion and vitriol without boiling over or falling into cliche. Its really biting and full of venom. Do you feel better after writing it?

ps. i hope Boylan isnt insinuating im too dumb to understand it...i do know where coventry is.

[Mr. Lopez]

you'll speak of our children, andthe tree in the yard... i can't believe i fell for that s**t. The truth ,when revealed, can be the most painful part of the end of love. The realization that time spent was time wasted , But waste not and learn. Within the pains of love come the seeds of growth and you have bloomed into strong writer of emotion. We will continue to watch you grow.

[Flow]

Very powerful words and messages I like the very real picture you paint of abuse and how people can get stuck in it. The ending is the best as this process comes to an end. Excellent poem!

[bluessadmood]

oh this writing is so good ,i loved it

[Jessica L Auster]

A beautiful peice from a strong woman.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I have to keep coming back and checking out your work...once again even in your rage here you managed to capture the human emotion and exploit a subject that is all to real and happens to often, many want to ignore it as if it is not happening saying it's none of there business... to love someone is not to abuse them physically or mentally thats more about power and control because they have no self esteem and this feeds the ego... to break free from the fear is tough but once you do your strength will grow ten time larger... although different for you it still shines with your thought provoking style.

[[untitled]]

HA!! Spit it out girl...there's deep seated, unadulterated hatred here, it almost leaps off the page in disgust...I love your style...axe to grind?? Grind it here!
Cheers you wordsmith you!!!
Helen :-)))

[Drea]

Oh yeah I've been there before too. By the end I felt like the shell of my old self he'd sucked all the blood and life force from; yet somehow I found that whole vampire thing appealing at the time and I didn't know why.
Great to see you put it to the page and declare that you are not giving anymore if for no other reason there is nothing left to give. That you need to be free.
Your choice of words strike that balance between the fragility one feels being in such a relationship and the strength one builds to get out of it.

[Katie Foutz Voss]

Reading this makes me want to kind of lay down and groan with such agonizing frustration. I mean, I felt like that already, but the words just enable my seeminly pathetic emotions. I definitely understand the empty feeling. I'm asuming this is fiction? I've never been in an abusive relationship but I've definitely been in an inequal one where... yeah. You get the picture. You get to the end and you're all used up.

I really enjoyed the somewhat scattered rhyme scheme. Not that it was off beat, more just out of the ordinary, not the same ABAB.... I get so bored with that, it's ridiculous. Anyways.

I like the rough images. It's less imagery (which is such a pretty word) and more like brain washing (don't take offense to that) where the images are sort of forced in, abrasively, in a way that you can't stop yourself from looking. Perhaps there wasn't even imagery, but I am an intensely visual person with a television inside my head, so every word of this piece was very animated. Came to life, so to speak.

Nicely done.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Hi Kara! It's good to see a woman's strength emerge victorious!

I compliment you on turning your angst into something more than tears...bravo!

My best,
Kelly

[Annelise]

"i often forget that i'm justa pawn in your game.'

And so it seems I am not the only one to encounter this certain breed of guy? You have summed up my emotional state for the last three months. You have a way of capturing emotions without screaming out the steps that led you to this point. I think I shall go read some more of your work :)