i've been here before

okay fine. i refuse to apologize for this.

join me

in the midst of my redundancy

-me-

and my tender tendency

to cry.

 

i'm tearing at the corners

of my mind.

  

i often forget that i'm a pawn

in your game. 

do you love me? perhaps.

but it's all the same.

 

you'll whisper to me of future years

while telling her to pierce her c**t.

you'll speak of our children, and

the tree in the yard...

 

i can't believe i fell for that s**t.

 

you've sapped me of my strength.

i'm empty, replete.

but you've done this before,

(so not that impressive a feat),

 

i feel like a fool

asking you to 'hit me once more'

for if he beats me he loves me

 

and then i'm more than just his w***e.

 

but all the rationalizations in the world

do not decrease this pressing need

to be free 

to be free.

 

i have nothing left to give you.

 

you've emptied me.

Reviews

[Wulfstan Crumble]

Id be wary of Boylan style reviews. i just got blocked for doing one such a review. lol...dont apologise for it because its a poem that needed to be written. and here's a big HUG if you'll accept one!!!!
The poem has raw passion and vitriol without boiling over or falling into cliche. Its really biting and full of venom. Do you feel better after writing it?

ps. i hope Boylan isnt insinuating im too dumb to understand it...i do know where coventry is.

[Michael]

something inside refuses to drop, to give in, and perhaps i read this at my own angle as usual. can't go on, will go on, there's no way back, there's only forward though which way is it becomes the recurring question even as the head feels always heavy and the heart sounds too loud or soft.

[PianoandPage]

"you'll whisper to me of future years
while telling her to pierce her c**t.
you'll speak of our children, and
the tree in the yard" - wow. the contrast here is off kilter and startling. i love how you follow up "tree in the yard" with "sapped" i dont' know if that was intentional but it caught me cleverly.

this piece is a living vein of rage-filled sadness.

the rhyming came and went... when it was present it was nicely done and flowed and didn't detract... when it left it didn't change the overall tone of the piece.

the ending breaks my heart. it's the ultimate control... the final resourceless defiance.

[ShanZ-Turn]

Very strong, and powerful. I loved the use of words, it shocks the reader into paying attention and "listening" I can relate to what your writing here, and I think you did a fantastic job of hitting the emotional core on this. It expresses all the mixed feeling's and needs that go with being in an abusive relationship, while still being poetic and amazing great write. I enjoyed it. Thank you for expressing..

[MAC]

no dear you are not emptied, just filled with the weight of carrying two. i wonder what it is that brings us to that point that damn point were anything any attention at all fills the void and resembles in our mind not heart love. you are an amazing and beautiful person Kara and you will never be empty, your entire being is of love and someday dear the love you receive will be from someone that has your matching love. i adore your poetry because of the honesty and perfection of style but mostly Kara because it weeps of you and your heart.

beneath the moon we are equal for the light shows our flaws and the shadows consume our vanity....

[ANNA]

wow so deep, beautiful and heartbreaking..I like your style.. How your use your words all so well.
You took me in and I got caught up in your story.. I love this part when you said:
(i feel like a foolasking you to 'hit me once more'for if he beats me he loves me and then i'm more than just his w***e. but all the rationalizations in the worlddo not decrease this pressing needto be free to be free. i have nothing left to give you. you've emptied me.

I was blow away by the heap of emotion
thank you for sharing this poem

Anna

[Dominick]

Intense yet calm with self awareness.

"but you've done this before, (so not that impressive a feat)," -- a contradiction in terms of the way human beings learn and adapt. Mighty impressive to pull the same wool over the same eyes more than once. Usually we learn from mistakes so the second time would be harder.

"i feel like a fool asking you to 'hit me once more 'for if he beats me he loves me" -- This is a good example of human weakness when intelligance is skewed by emotion. Although we have the ability to learn from past events, does not mean that we will, it may take a few times before it sinks in. Emotion has a way of disguising truth and some cling to the idea of love that even negative affection is acceptable and better then none at all.

You use so little words to say so much. Good job.

[Tara Jean Olson]

whether this is written in first person or not, its very well written, emily.

[Leah Simone]

There is a lot of raw emotion in this piece. I think the strongest stanza was about piercing her c**t - it showed the obscene truth of what this man is really about and the grit of it - jumped off the page. Kara, I think if you were able to come back to this poem and trim off the less memorable lines and keep this short it would be very strong. Right now, it reads as an emotional release - as if you were pissed off and needed to vent - which is how most great "angst" poems begin - but for me there is a sharp edge to this that I would love to see you hone.

I offer suggestions - take or leave - not meant to offend, only trying to offer honest feedback - sometimes we don't have enough of that around here.

Besides, you know I love you :-)


i often forget i'm just
a pawn
in your game.
do you love me? perhaps.
but it's all the same.

you will whisper to me
about our future
while telling her
to pierce her c**t.

you're a lethal drug.
still, I take another hit.

you turn my poetry to puke
on a page of wasted rage
as I sit
sifting through s**t
I once called love.

[robin]

Actually, it is a message of seduction from a submissive to a master, or a fantasy of unrequited lust. Unusual and revealing, while gritty and leaving the reader a little dirty. We've all been there and remain unresolved.

[Lee W. Deason]

I say good "fucken" job.


"you'll speak of our children, and
the tree in the yard...

i can't believe i fell for that s**t."

You made the classic bow to you.
Stylish.