did i forget to mention...

did i forget to mention
how scared I am?
of everything.
of you & me / of him & her / this & that...
of building castles out of sand
and dreams out of daylight
and love out of naiveté...
hm.
is it true? will i be
a martyr
for love?
i suppose there are worse things
to die for.
but i have so much to live for / so much to give for
what is all this for?
this aching / taking / breaking apart
this grating / abating / mating of the heart...
my words are disjointed
my fingertips anointed
in holy water
and with a barely lucid desperation
i'm rubbing my eyes
my neck / my lips
my words - they trip
and fall straight into
oblivion.
no one will hear them now.
no one will care.
i will tear at my insides
til i simply fall apart
and i can only blame
this foolish / lovely
heart.
it all started there
and there it will end...
either with its mending
(agreement still pending)
or the slow slow suture
of silently fading love-ness
(i thought myself above this)
and yet here i lay
whispering for the pain
to go / go /
go away.

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Kara you my darling friend are such a gift to the written word... you lay out such vulnerability in this piece when it comes to the human emotions as confusion of why we have to hurt and make mistakes... I think those are the things that help make the wonderful moments in our life more special... I love the depths of the human soul you take us to as life is questioned and you strive to find the answers.

[Spilled Her Guts in Cur..]

I loved this. It was beautifully written and flowing. greatwrite. well done!

[Crap!]

Another beautiful read. It seems that you can do no wrong with all of this talent going for you. I really enjoyed this.

[Maria Retz]

Good flow. Beautiful rhymes.

I really enjoyed reading this poem of a fragile heart

[Kristen R. Heyl]

This really gets one thinking about love and how it affects you in so many different ways..negative and positive...if only it were only positive it would be so much easier. the poem flows so smoothly and has it's own rhythm as you read..quite a catchy one. I would have to say that my favorite part of the whole poem is the way it begins "did i forget to mention
how scared I am?
of everything.
of you & me / of him & her / this & that...
of building castles out of sand
and dreams out of daylight
and love out of naivete..." because of how scary it can be...great poem

[Doug Case]

Wow!

I'd leave it at that, but it doesn't explain much, does it? Everything here is brilliant - especially your use of punctuation (mildly cummings, no?), the way you change lines within the lines themselves with slashes. My favorite lines are "building castles out of sand and dreams out of daylight;" it's spectacular!

[William Usry]

Absolutely brilliant. I love, love, love it.

of building castles out of sand
and dreams out of daylight
and love out of naivete...

Wow.

[Christina]

What a beautiful poem. You paint a lovely yet heart wrenching picture of your love and loss.

[Rc R. Vagilidad]

your going too far with the same emotion... and that's wonderful, carrying your words out of desperation...with love... i can hear you speak, word by word and your toning just worn me down to sadness....i symphatize...

[Jazlean]

"..no one will hear them now.
no one will care..."

this is one of those peoms that make the reader want to yell and scream, to reach out to the writer and say;
i hear you, i care..but your voice is lost and they cannot hear you...

its beautiful, well done.