it's in the air

when i told you i loved you
i meant it from
the bottom
of this aching
of my breaking
heart.

when i whispered in your ear
secret, hidden desires
i meant
for only you
to hear.

i wanted to whisk you away
to another place.

where no one could touch us. or ridicule us.
or tell us
who we are.

i wanted to learn the inner depths of your smile.
and touch gently upon the pulsating
chord at
your neck.

when i told you i loved you
i meant
forever.

-as in-
i would love you until the day
i lost the air.

and yet here i am
     -gasping-

i'm gasping.

i'm gasping.

i'm gasping.

for breath.

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Woah this is really intense...

when i whispered in your ear
secret, hidden desires
i meant
for only you
to hear.

I love this because it states that sharing only certain things with one another brings you to even closer.

-as in-
i would love you until the day
i lost the air.

and yet here i am
-gasping-

i'm gasping.

i'm gasping.

i'm gasping.

for breath.

and this ending has such the dramatic effect I can feel the loss...

Once again your words are amazing and that is why I am a true blue Karaholic.

[Ari R. Fairbanks]

That is a Vivid poem. love it

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, I'm really loving your work. This pieces made me think of a love turned cold; it's a sad thing to have happen in one's life. But I'm sure that most breathing folks can say that it rips out your warm heart.

-as in-
i would love you until the day
i lost the air.

[Richard K]

Oh, baby! This poem makes my heart sink to the lowest depths. But even through the sorrow, your poems will always have that beauty that will put me in awe.

[Randall Richard]

your poems are so devistating. i am saddened by their infrequency, but i think this pace is all i can handle. i must be honest, when i read the first stanza i was nervous. the first few lines could have came from any 13 year old girls secret diary and i was afraid this may be the first k.e.k. poem i didn't fall in love with. but the entirety of the poem was so sincere, so true, that the poem was rescued from cliche. moving stuff, kiddo, just hope you wander into more brightly lit avenues soon. it can only rain for so long. even noah found dry land eventually.

[~ Tex]

I appreciated the emotion that you put into this work... and had I written it myself, there is very little that I would have done differently... because it falls quite naturally into the same flow and feel for words that often flood forth when I sit and ponder or write.

The ending works very well.... "until the day I lost air......... here i am -gasping-"

It says a lot about feelings and where we thing we'll be... and where we actually end up.

[Sarah Williams]

Well, this is a comeback indeed, Kara!!! I'm only flattered that I had something to do with prompting you to write it...

-as in-
i would love you until the day
i lost the air.

--These are the things I like most about your poetry...the way that you take everyday speech and make it unique and beautiful..."lost the air" vs. simply stopped breathing.

I can relate to this poem quite well...the way that loves fills you up so deeply and then deflates you like a sad balloon when it is gone. I too have been left "gasping" before, and all that I can say is I caught my breath...it comes back, every so slowly, but it does come back. This was a delightful read...the imagery was delicate and beautiful, and it was written in your true and perfect style of which I have come to love so much here at the cafe! Great work, my dear!

[Bubo]

-as in-
i would love you until the day
i lost the air.

Lose is often so unbearable when we feel we can't breathe without the other person.........this
was so mellow and sorrowful at end..........after having begun very uplifting and hopeful, full of love.....
I so hope this is not how you are really feeling.
Very emotional write.

[Ryan Merritt]

did you lose you're love?
such desire
it's like you're pleading
I'm so sorry