he's passing through my heart / stealing all my breath

"please don't go," i whisper
into the curves of his lips.
[clutching his fingers to my chest]
i smile, lest he notice
the trembling tears upon my cheek
but it's too late, i'm weak,
and crumbling at his feet.

"please stay," i breathe
into the palm of his hand.
[as i press a kiss to his skin]
his eyes peruse me with innocent disdain
and suddenly 'i love you'
sounds like a ridiculous refrain.

"but i love you," i gasp
with the last vestige of my pride.
[feeling his fingers slip from my touch]
i can't; it's too much,
so I allow my dewy eyes reprieve
yet somehow through the darkness
i see him leave
i see him leave.

Reviews

[Gordon Greene]

And with this... she returns.

This piece shows why there is a hole in the Cafe' without your work.
So simplistically stated, but with beauty and brilliance... you have written about a depth of loss that only an artist could feel.

Lovely work... Gordon

[Whisperer]

It is the tone of the poem... that is what it is. I can't name it or describe it. But it is a tone of great equanimity, despite the pain of loss that makes this poem really classy. I felt like I was in a boat sailing on the turbulent sea of your emotions...

This lines were beautiful..

"his eyes peruse me with innocent disdain
and suddenly 'i love you'
sounds like a ridiculous refrain.

"but i love you," i gasp
with the last vestige of my pride. "

[Suheil Kapadia]

Aww, i feel so sad i want to hug you! beautifully expressed.

[Randall Richard]

stunning and filled with sorrow. the subtle rhyming structure almost goes unnoticed, reinforcing the beauty of the verse almost subliminally. your honest and heartfelt beauty never ceases to amaze me.

[Perplex]

this had a very litling musical quality that added to sense of the melancholy that you are exploring here. the lightness of touch somehow works to make the heavy heart of the narrator seem that much heavier.

[..]

This one is just plain AWESOME!!..so beautiful. You write beautiful....Kim

[Maria G.]

I agree heartbreaking to read yet beautiful the way you express, your beauty inside shines throughout, your willingness to go to lengths to show love even losing some pride, it resonates much. Love this Kara. :)

[Taja B.]

This is quite heartbreaking to read, but it's still a very good poem. It's well written, and the emotion is so vivid in this poem, that you could literally feel the pain and heartbreak.

Nice job. Thanks for sharing.:)

[Jackstopher Sprout]

it's really hard to pick a favorite line or stanza it's all so beautiful and painful. every word moves me to the next and as hard as it is, i want to keep reading. i like the consistent set up and push forward.

[Aka; Donnie (ramone) Ka..]

OUCH!.... dear you present pain so....artistic... so expressive.... so painfully... and yet I'm compelled to read every word twice and feel the emotion well up in me.

to provide a roadmap to empathy makes it effortless for the reader to "get there" Just follow the Kara brick road.

[Jeanmarie Flaherty]

Do you think death could be less painful? Probably...the title says it all.

Every word here is beautiful, you are impossible to quote in this piece...and my God, the words that appear in your last breaths are flying, swirling, and waiting, in the air, for his possible (however unlikely) return...


*sigh*


you amaze me.

love.me.