he's passing through my heart / stealing all my breath

"please don't go," i whisper
into the curves of his lips.
[clutching his fingers to my chest]
i smile, lest he notice
the trembling tears upon my cheek
but it's too late, i'm weak,
and crumbling at his feet.

"please stay," i breathe
into the palm of his hand.
[as i press a kiss to his skin]
his eyes peruse me with innocent disdain
and suddenly 'i love you'
sounds like a ridiculous refrain.

"but i love you," i gasp
with the last vestige of my pride.
[feeling his fingers slip from my touch]
i can't; it's too much,
so I allow my dewy eyes reprieve
yet somehow through the darkness
i see him leave
i see him leave.

Reviews

[Gordon Greene]

And with this... she returns.

This piece shows why there is a hole in the Cafe' without your work.
So simplistically stated, but with beauty and brilliance... you have written about a depth of loss that only an artist could feel.

Lovely work... Gordon

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Oh my Kara it's been a while since i delved into your back library and I apologize for that...

Now damn I could feel my heart breaking with every stanza as the pleas of someone in love are pit on ice as the other cruelly skates away...

"please stay," i breathe
into the palm of his hand.
[as i press a kiss to his skin]

Those line right there gave me shivers down my spine.

Just another brilliant piece on the human condition... AMAZING!!

[Jason]

Oh man. I really feel this one babe. I can actually feel my heart caving. I love it. I feel for you - Damn, i can relate...
JAson

[J.P.O.et]

I like how each verse 'gins with you speaking, yet he never speaks
This reminds me of an ex, don't they all, only I was in your position
So Sad, me thinks I need a healthy dose of happy now
You write happy? Nah, happy is never as good, eh
J.P.O.et

[THE BLACK SEAL]

i rather liked this one as well. you have a gentle yet screaming way with word. the flow is smooth and relaxed while chaos is all around

[Bhavya Kaushik]

very very well written . A very real and deep piece conveying true and genuine feelings.
Awesomely awesome :)

[Amor-de-angel]

I almost feel the pain.The feeling of begging him to stay. Grasping onto the last bits...'but i love you'
Good work

[Christian Walters]

This is so beautifully written .
Visually and emotionally you have captured and conveyed the moment wonderfully.

[Mike; The Lone Maverick]

Wow this is so wistful and brillant...

[fireblossom]

well jeez...i feel like slipping away unnoticed. i don't think i was supposed to see this...

:-)

Thanks for sharing yourself in this way. I learned something about all women by reading this. A great thing.

Really good writing.

PS I you're still feeling lost I could come over with some wine and cheese...no? Alright then...just a thought.

lol

[PercySnapper]

Naturally brilliant.