kill me with casualty

You kill me with casualty
(the latent apathy in your eyes)
There’s a determined drumbeat
urging me to leave
but I’m already grieving
so I stay.
too dumb too numb too in love
to go away.

 

 

You stab me with sensitivity
(I’m awash in your wounds)
I have a feeling
I’m unsealing my heart
and a part of me whispers ‘you fool’
for his casualty can be cruel
and my heart is as delicate as a dove.

 

 

You awe me with assumptions
(expectations I will never meet)
consistently you claim this untrue
but, oh, the way I lose my fire to you.
Sometimes I’m too cold
(oftentimes too old)
I’m afraid of folding up
and fading away.
so I stay and I pray…

 

 

Let’s not hurt ourselves today.

Reviews

[Amberlight]

Love this line: "too dumb too numb too in love to go away." I wrote a story called: Killing her with kindness, similar idea. You have a lot of gems in here, that one could easily miss by reading it only once: "part of me whispers, you fool’ for his casualty can be cruel "

[Ilene M.W. Lush]

but damn they give us inspiration. here's to all of them!

[[untitled]]

Oh, regrets after a night of casual sex with someone you had fooled yourself into thinking you loved? I like the "scene" this poem created and the feelings it invoked. Very nicely done.

[Alicia]

I especially love the first stanza, "too dumb too numb too in love
to go away." and the second stanza.

This is beautiful and heartfelt. I feel the same as you.

[Kasia A. Tilander]

You write with such stunning flow of emotion.
Your words move effortlessly, seamlessly form one to the other;

'too dumb too numb too in love
to go away'

Your language resonates beautifully in my ears.

Kasia.

[Marc Mccune]

this is creativly written and delivers a difficult emotion in a difficult relationship.

especially favorite lines:
"but, oh, the way I lose my fire to you.
Sometimes I�m too cold
(oftentimes too old) "

[- - - - - - - - > -] Likemeter(tm)

[0]

Your writing is truly wonderful in this poem. I love how you bring the story out, and how you make it all flow together so well. I see a relationship that has seemimgly grown stale and indifferent, nothing left to be said.. yet, she stays. Though this is sad, it's beautifully written and told. I see nothing I would change.

[J. Alfred Prufrock]

this is absolutely amazing you. wonderful wonderful wonderful. one of the best i've read on thissite. you have very god intuition when it comes to flow and balance--a very rare talent. the mood you creat with your rhythm works wonderfully to support the subject matter and tone. i can see you have the thoughtful nature of a true poet. my only suggestion would be to find some other imagery other that the "dove" unless there is an intrinsic reason why it must be there. "dove" has been so cliche and worn-out since the mid 11th century. lol and a poem of the caliber deserves a voice and symbolism that reflects a unique creative streak all your own. but that's just my opinion, i try to avoid cliche images at all cost. but its a wonderful poem no matter what you decide to do with it. cheers to you.

[Teresa Gunn]

Lovely imagery ( I say that too much, but it's always true). Not many people have mastered alliteration and self-rhyming lines without coming off as forced.
You obviously have.

[Nihad Dweidary]

I love "I�m afraid of folding up
and fading away." This touches the heart where it is most alive. I am impressed. Whether this is the first poem I review (or the last, just kidding) or the second, I am still very impressed with your style, your choice of words, and the ferver with which you write.

So lovely, indeed.

Love,

Nihad