the absence of you

it's the absence of your arms
wrapped around my waist
(your legs entangled in mine)
it's an aching in my breast
for the touch of your chest
against me at all times.

it's the absence of your breath
against the curve of my neck
(the touch of your lips at my nape)
it's the fading sensations
of passionate elation
and the music we magically create.

it's the absence of your heat
coursing through my veins
(the delirious warmth where we meet)
it's my inability to speak
and the way you make me weak
and these crumpled up cotton sheets.

it's the absence of you
and the deliciousness of us
(the laughter we share in the dark)
it's the simmering of our fire
and the love you inspire
and this burning... deep in my heart.

Reviews

[;]

That poem flowed easily and it was such a great read....I like how you explained the thing you miss....Great write

[Ed Rector]

again, i like the repedativeness... but for some reason i just lost intrest in this piece after the 1st stanza... i read it all but i just feelt like you can do better... i read this piece because of the title... you should check out my poem Absence, it's a bit abstract and confusing but it's in progress...

[0]

This is just... well... you really said it all here. I love it!! I can feel every word, and know exactly what you mean. I love the words you chose to express your thoughts/feelings- elation, magical, delicious, simmering, and especially.. delirious. It's the kind of 'togetherness' that makes you smile long after it's over. A favorite!

[Shane Rendon]

Its not exactly repetition, and I really love it. again I could feel the presents you speak of in this piece, and again... shoulda been gay!!! *laughs* This is beautiful.

-Shane

[S. (johnny) Thonn]

I like the repetition of the first line and the unintentional rhyming. It's sensual in yearning and longing.

[Laura]

I found this very beautiful. "the deliciousness of us" was a great line.

[Randy Mckenica -writers..]

Meant to be wistful, I suppose, and sensual- but to me it exposed a yearning for a past I can never return to, and a recollection of what is now absent. A very touching poem, it touched me.

[Diánna Martin (b..]

I thought this was beautiful and sensual. I liked the use of the repetition of "the absence" - it made it's point without hitting the reader over the head; on the contrary, it made it all the more a poem of longing, desire, and the sadness that those two mediums can bring.

The html needs to be fixed, though - (that has nothing to do with a critique of the poem itself)