into your unknown

i know you
much less
than the empathic earth
and much more than moments
of goodbye.

 

 

i tie myself to your voice
and respond with a visceral leaping
to your scent.

yet your moments are lent to me
like the water as it laughs /
as it laps
upon the shore.

 

 

i know you
as the pelican knows the sea
(possible to skim you but not to swim you)
to taste you / then lose you
from whence you came.

Reviews

[[im]practically Me]

this to me is a piece that speaks of great loss...
now i know that poetry and all art for that matter is completely relative at times and that interpretations are drawn upon as a result of the background of the veiwer...
i say that because i read this from the point of veiw of a girl who was in love with a boy who killed himself...
because of that experience this piece reaches into the loss that i knew (though i have move on significantly since then)


i know you
much less
than the empathic earth
and much more than moments
of goodbye.

this is a stunning way to begin a piece...
more than moments of goodbye...
i dont know about you but it seems my life is full of those moments so to know this person more than those moments... thats knowing... right?

i tie myself to your voice
and respond with a visceral leaping
to your scent.
yet your moments are lent to me
like the water as it laughs
as it laps
upon the shore.

and i hate these moments...
these moments that as you say so perfectly well are only lent to us...
the one where you see someone who looks just like him and you almost run up to the person and then remember...
the one where you hear his laugh and want to bash the crap out of whoever it was who laughed that way...
yeah... i know those moments and i hate them... with the fire of a thousand suns lol

yeah... this is a very beautiful piece right here...

[Andrea Di Martino]

Hey, the last stanza of this is really cool. What a great image. This poem reminds me of one of my favorite Sarah Harmer songs where she says "i guess we're all just out on loan/and everybody is only his own. Very nice work. Keep it up.

[JlB]

Very vivid and meaningful, you did a great job with this one. I can feel the breeze and the mist of the water. Great word selection,

this is definitely worthy of 5 stars

good work writer

jlb

[T. Thorn]

"i know you
as the pelican knows the sea
possible to skim you but not to swim you
to taste you then lose you"

This is an incredibly beautiful analogy with the imagery of a bird on the ocean-- a relationship that is necessarily superficial for the bird, yet must leave it wondering.

One thing though-- a pelican? Why pelican? Perhaps it is simply a matter of opinion, but I find them to be very ugly birds... and there are a number of other, more aesthetic birds that would be interchangeable in this image.

Still, fantastic analogy here.

[Ron Cole]

Kara, this is an enjoyable and intuitive poem! It embraces the whimsical nature of love where we hold, but not too close, and love, but do not control. This is a very mature reflection on attraction and love. Well done!!

[Avoiry]

"yet your moments are lent to me
like the water as it laughs
as it laps
upon the shore. "
I like the image this puts in my head , i like how you apply your ideas to common sights it makes the picture splendid

[Shannon Drake]

"i know you
as the pelican knows the sea
possible to skim you but not to swim you
to taste you then lose you
from whence you came."

beautiful. the taste of something you wish you had.. but know that you cant. it sucks. but.. its life. love it.

[Alexis Ryan]

this is very nice...

it sounds familiar, to me...

not the words, themselves, but the feeling...the meter...the rhythm...
it is much like my own...
i can relate...

:)

[Nicole M. Isabella]

Absolutely stunning from start to finish. There would not be one single letter I would change. Excellent. It brings home the memory of sad goodbyes while relishing in the time spent together. A tough balance to keep, in writing or in life.

[Gordon Greene]

CUT THAT OUT!!!
I don't know if you're a story writer, or what, but you're definitely a poet!
You know how to touch the innards (indelicate way of saying your words touch hearts).
This is definitely a favorite of mine.
But then what of your poetry isn't?
g.g.