The World and You

don't leave me.... but leave me T__T

If you touch it, it might burn you

How can this be repaired?

A burnt hand…

It's disintegrating

In thin air.

Don't touch it, it might burn you

And I love you far too much

To see you hurt.

But…

If I touch it, it might burn me.

And if I don't recoil it could become

A smiling, face- a warm face,

But I'm a broken doll…

No good for anything,

But everyone's trying to fix me-

Well, even if my face has to drip,

Don’t.

You have light coming for you

And I'm just the old, broken doll,

Leave me behind if you must. 

But maybe one day,

You'll remember me

And I'll be just like new again

For now,

Just be happy

And remember not to touch it

Because I did it for you

And you don't deserve to be tethered down.

Author's Note

how can i make it better?

Reviews

[Kaye]

Awww!!! It's so beautiful and emotional!

I get the feeling that this poem is dripping with fresh blood and needs to be allowed to scab over before you start revising it. (That's my new favorite gruesome metaphor so you must deel with it's brutality XD)

I love the images. This one seems to rely heavily upon touch as it's strongest sense. You might want to even amplify that more and make this poem almost painful to read.
Your second line was probably the weakest in the poem I'm afraid. You could almost do without it.
My favorite part was the images of flames and I wonder if you could tie that into the doll also? That could be really amazing if it worked.

Beautiful poem. Q__Q I'm sorry I didn't read it sooner.

[A LaDy NaMeD D]

This is sad. Nicely written too. I don't really know how you can make this better, i think it's good as is. But then again *sigh* who am i? lol. I really enjoyed this though.

Danni

[QuietPoet]

Nicely written. Very sad though. I hope things become better for you..