Red Sidewalk

Not to far from me... I could almost see it...

I am a river

Of glittering, winking fluid

Running so far from my home

Where the glass had pierced

The surface…

A devilish sun lights me,

Drying me to the ground.

I hear

A sound, wailing of a sort

There lies my old home

Incredibly far from myself

Now being sent

Even farther away

Unmoving

Wheels turn

And carry part of me

With old home.

Author's Note

Tell me how I can fix it please!!! It has issues and needs lots of help that only you can give!!!! <3

Reviews

[Kaye]

This was beautiful. Simply beautiful, I think it's one of your best poems. ^^

However, is the last line the way you intended to word it? It seemed incredibly odd...

[Laura E. Aranda]

It was unusual
I'm not sure if you are referring yourself to human form or some inanimate object
Just let me know and I will read it once more
Cheers, lea