Crying is a Broken Heart

a metaphor for things that happen in life, done in a literal way. >> i hope this makes sense.

            "Are you ready?" Looking at the daunting, nearly-vertical escalators that led up into the giant mansion made her feel uneasy, but she nodded at her dear friend. He had brought her here for her to overcome her fears, all of them, and cast aside her anxieties about leaving this town. Her feet shook and she stepped onto the first moving metal step, taking a deep breath as she did, a chill ran up her neck and she gave him a look of uneasy fear and dread, but he patted her on the back and got on the step below her, smiling to reassure her. The daylight closed out soon enough, and they reached a place that was nearly pitch black, save for being able to make out the features of one another if they stood close and focused on each other's faces. 

            "Thank you for bringing me here," she tried to push a smile but it wouldn't come. She watched the shapeless dark forms down below them, the couple huddling together, ready for the first landing. He merely nodded, still keeping a smile up, just for her. They rode on in silence, the escalator reaching a dizzying height above whatever darkness lay below. They reached the landing and stepped smoothly off of the step as it was sucked in by the metal teeth. All around became the picture of a memory. He stood there with his hands in his pockets, slouched comfortably. She was hunched over a little, clutching her own shoulders for comfort. Her eyebrows raised in sadness and her eyes were quickly filling with tears. 

The memory was from when she was a young child, playing in the grass in her front yard, trying to do handstands with her sister, but falling over, being padded by layers of natural green. He didn't know this memory, he didn't know her then, he just watched her, feeling the pain that he saw on her face. The younger her walked down to a pool with a towel wrapped around her neck, her small friend walking along beside her in mock excitement, both of them chattering about plans for the new school year. The new school year came, and there was the girl with the bracelets: one of her very good friends, jingling as she showed the girl around their school and smiling like there never could be a bad day. Her tall friend came into the picture, and the girl spent every moment with her, sometimes forgetting about her other friends. 

            The girl's throat was choked up and she couldn't speak to the boy, she didn't want him to see her as her eyes became red and then wet, so she turned her head to the other side as they stepped onto the next part of the escalator and he pretended not to see. Her heart had a gaping hole, left from the last time she had seen those people in her memory. Her crying did not make noise, though, and before long the small breeze and the darkness calmed her nerves and she calmed down, looking back at the boy who was incredibly sad for her but not crying and gave him a smile, trying to say,

            "I'm all right." 

            On the second landing, she cried harder, starting to gasp for breath, watching as her tall friend left her and a new group of friends formed around her, creating a group that broke up when they started at new schools once again. This new school did not last long, but she had happy moments and troubles to deal with, and into these memories came the day that she met the boy, sitting right in front of her during class. She glanced at him, a deeper hurt entering her, knowing that the boy that cared enough about her to come here with her. Her crying couldn't be ignored by the boy this time and he came closer to her, holding her left hand with both of his. Their eyes connected and she realized he meant more than a friendly gesture with this. She feared for his heart and she sobbed on the next set of escalator steps. The boy "ssh"ed and "it's okay"ed the whole way up, trying to help, but it wouldn't. 

By the next landing, where she started at her third new school, the time where they periodically forgot about each other and she had the two best years she had ever lived. Her eyes barely stayed open and she couldn't breathe, she could just barely stumble to the next set of moving stairs, with the boy's arm around her shoulder, leading her there and pulling her head to lean on his shoulder. Her short gasps of breath left her feeling absolutely hopeless, and she still clutched her own body, trying to comfort herself even while the boy was trying his best. Her body shook with misery and she felt cold. He pulled her closer, as close as he could, pressing her into himself so that she could remember he was here with her. The last landing was huge and she looked down the side, trying to see how high up they were, but it was all black; too dark to see anything. This memory was to be the most recent, but the boy pulled a blanket out from the bag he was carrying and threw it over her head and hugged her close as she sobbed, only hearing every word that had been spoken to her. There was a gaping hole in her heart and she could barely take it, but the fact that he was there, holding her close, helped her to know that she wasn't handling this alone, but he wouldn't always be there and that made her cry harder. When the memory faded, he kept the blanket on her head, but helped her to sit down, where he laid his head in her lap, putting his warm hand to rest softly on her cold knee and said,

"I love you," so softly that she could barely believe that she had heard it at all. In response she stroked his hair, crying as hard as she ever had, trying to bring herself to tell him how angry she was for him saying that. But she couldn't, and she never would be able to. She needed a friend and he had just broken that strong tie by telling her that he felt something that she couldn't return. 

Author's Note

AUGH help me fix it so i can enter it in the contest!!! >> don't spread it around that this is here, i'm still not confident in it yet...

Reviews

[Kaye]

O_____O WHAT???? The ending!!!!! T___T awwwww. Well psh! That boy's getting pushed down the escalator of love there, isn't he? XDD
No, sorry. *hug* It was really good. I'll just start suggesting things now.

I liked how you did each landing leading to another step in your life, but it would create more tension to be continually rising. Every time you step of there's a breath of relief. If you rise past each part, they almost seem more fleeting and more precious.
Also, drag out the blanket part! It seems so much more important, but I almost missed it when I read it. Describe the feeling of comfort in detail.
Also, let him down easy T____T Poor boy. Trying so hard and you're like "No." I want to adopt him.

^^ You shouldn't be so nervous about it, but if you are, making it more ambiguous. It's you, but it's easier to read about yourself if it isn't exactly you.

[Laura E. Aranda]

NO WAY! THIS WAS WAY COOL>....
okay so I usually don't YELL but I loved it. I really didn't know where it was going but in the end it was interesting. I thought He died......
I can't wait to read the rest of your stuff.
Cheers, lea