Something we Know

Make of it what you will.

 

Cold, shimmering

is there a heart inside?

could it hold a heart?

could it preserve emotions?

Solid, tasteless

does it freeze the world in its tracks?

does it care?

does it tangle with the sky,

then rush down in anger?

Crystals, Melting

Would that mean the world is over?

Would that mean anything it touches cannot love,

cannot feel?

Author's Note

I've revised it a few times, but if you can point out anything else that would help me out, please do!! I want to know what everyone thinks! ^^

Reviews

[Kaye]

At first glance, shorter poems seem less intimidating, but this one definitly packed a punch. It's a really emotional poem. I think the two adjectives on a single line spaced through the poem gave it a good rhythm. And I definitly like how you let the reader develope the imagry by asking questions rather than stating everything.
Really beautiful all in all. The only line I had a problem with was "does it freeze the world in its tracks?" I had to read that one twice to make sure I'd read it right. It could be because the idea of stopping something "in it's tracks" has become cliche over the years. If it doesn't ruin the poem and you could find a different way of saying the same thing, I think it would help the poem.

[Laura E. Aranda]

What did U think of when you wrote it?
What was your muse?
Cheers, lea


Ps
I thought of a dead machine at first but that is not romantic enough...HA!

[BriAnna Wyble]

well written...

its missing something...
writing a few more lines would make it complete



great job..

:]

[Jeberle]

Very nice poem. I like how you question the reader, but I think it's missing something. It seems as if you stopped before you'd reached the end of the poem. I would suggest writing a few more lines to explore this idea and find out where it's leading you. Also, you might consider adding a few more images. The quick snapshots, like "Crystals, Melting," were very powerful. Keep up the good work.