Woman from yesterday

A sad love story that is inspired by a true event.

There she rode in the distance; shell shocked, pained and confused. She couldn’t imagine the man whom she loved so deeply was with another. How could this be? Did she see right? Was it really him? Was it a figment of her imagination?

She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She turned to look again. It was raining outside. The dancing drops of water on her car window still gave her a clear view of him and her. He was holding her hand, walking in the rain, kissing her without a care in the world. Their faces all wet, and a love scene waiting to happen.

If you had seen her, she looked white and her lips were pale. Her car was in the middle of traffic. She looked helpless and disheveled. She closed her eyes as she wanted to see no more, but she couldn’t close her heart to what she was feeling. She said, she was frozen in that moment, unable to move; until she heard cars honking from behind.

She gasped for breath, she wanted to scream. She thought she would die. But everyone around her just looked at her, confused; wondering why she was stalled. It was one of those days when life, once again �" had punched her, in her gut.

She wanted to get out, run to him, confront him, remind him of the night before where they all sat together laughing, talking, joking and just being one happy family. God d****t, didn’t he realize that he was married. He had a wife and a son that loved him dearly and needed him more than ever.

Was this the same man with whom she had spent countless days, weeks and years, falling asleep and waking up to him. All cuddled up, whispering sweet nothings, kissing, touching, snuggling and caressing. The years of togetherness flashing through her eyes like a reel of a film.

Although things had changed since the birth of her son, and now was different from then. It was still their love story and she felt betrayed and let down.

To her it appeared as though they were a unit with definitive roles. She the care giver and he the bread winner. With the several trials and tribulations, up’s and down’s and the meandering paths that led to dead ends, they were trying to make the most of their situation. Life just happened and they seemed to be talking without speaking, listening but not hearing, surviving yet not living.

At six months Aryan, was diagnosed with a severe combined immunodeficiency, making him susceptible to infections and falling sick rather quickly.

She had been so involved in looking after him that nothing else seemed to exist. She was his caregiver, mom and best friend. All she had done was protected him from constantly falling sick. But the repeated procedures, hospital stays, ordering oxygen tanks, monitoring the care team, providing proper support groups for Aryan was all she remembered doing in the past 15 years.

Aryan was the center of her world. She was always shielding him from anything and everybody. Her days started and ended with him. She was so consumed, that nothing else mattered.

Nothing seemed amiss in their relationship as a husband and wife or possibly she didn’t want to see it. Yes, there was no intimacy but they still loved each other or atleast she thought they did. They were definitely not in love like they were in college. But isn’t that normal given the years of togetherness and their abnormal situation.

Flashback to the then present. She set aside what she had just witnessed. She needed to get home quickly as her house help was calling repeatedly regarding Aryan who seemed to be deteriorating inspite of the medication she had administered before she had stepped out to get some fresh air. He was running a high fever. This was normal given his condition and happened whenever the weather changed. Remember, it was raining.

She walked right into the chaos, but who could have imagined the chaos in her mind. Here lips were silent. She looked calm. No one could tell what she was feeling inside.

Thank god for Sarika who had already called the doctor. Aryan needed to be rushed to the hospital. Everything happened as clock work like it always did. She hurried to her room and picked up the two pre-packed bags that lay by her bedside. She was so used to this routine that being prepared saved time and most likely Aryans life.

She didn’t feel like calling Akash after everything she had witnessed, but he was a good father. He had supported Aryan wholeheartedly. He had been there for him, celebrated his victories, cried with him in his sorrow. She could not get herself to take that away from him, even though he had crushed her soul.

Also, Aryan adored his father and she loved Aryan too much to see him sad. She loved him more than life itself. He was her everything and she would do anything to see that smile on his face. She also knew Aryan would love to see Akash by his side, even if it was for a few moments, before he fell asleep.

She lay her feelings aside and called him. The phone went directly into voicemail. She wondered what he was doing. Was he still in the arms of that other woman? For once, she was glad he didn’t pick up his phone. She left a detailed message and then left hurriedly for the hospital.

As soon as they arrived, she saw Akash waiting in the lobby with a concerned look. He went straight to Aryan to see if he was alright. Aryan smiled weakly. As a matter of habit, Akash hugged her as he always did and said, “everything will be alright.”

If she had not witnessed what she had seen earlier that afternoon, she would have hugged him back to forget whatever was happening around her. But in that moment she gently released his hold to get away from him. His presence irked her. Today, she smelled Akash for the first time in the many years. He smelled different. He smelled of her and not them.

Tears welled up in her eyes. And honestly, if she had the time she would have sat down and spoken to Akash. She would have asked him why he did what he did. But in hindsight, I think she knew the answer already. The distance between them had allowed for this other woman to come into their life. But at this point, other things were priority. She had to attend to Aryan. This needed to wait. They needed to wait, for now or forever. Time would tell.

Two weeks later she was back home with Aryan and at the face of it, things appeared normal. But everything had changed. Everything seemed broken and suddenly in that moment, he meant nothing. He ceased to exist. He seemed like a stranger to her wherein once he was her soulmate.

Akash noticed it too. She seemed distant and he was unable to pinpoint the reason. How could he? He didn’t know, she knew. He asked, “Are you OK sweetheart?” He always called her that.

Given that he already had a sweetheart that might have been out of habit. Did he really mean those words? Siya was deep in her thoughts and did not realize that Akash got up from his chair and was approaching her. He looked lovingly at her and asked, “Are you alright my dear?”

She stared at him blankly and nodded. She didn’t know who this man was anymore. In the past, she would have hugged him tight and never let go. But today she felt empty. To her, he was already gone. Gone far away, never to come back again.

As the years passed them by, they continued to live their own lives, under one roof. She never did ask him. She lived for Aryan. She felt happy with him. She didn’t think what would happen to her after Aryan passed away. She didn’t think what would become of them. All she wanted was to be, with Aryan. Loving him, protecting him and making his last few years peaceful, happy and content. She had made her choice. She had decided that everything else had to wait.

And what became of her after Aryan passed away I will never know. I met this woman many years ago in a bar where we got talking. I still remember the way she looked; her empty eyes, her lonely smile and her sad heart . She was drowning. I could see that but I was helpless. I could do nothing but lend her an empathetic ear. I was so touched by her story that after years, an encounter in the present revived this memory of the past. I wished I had taken her number and kept in touch but I guess it was never meant to be.

I often wonder, could I have done what she did? But, I’m not her and not in her shoes. So I’ll let my thoughts rest for now.

To me she was a strong woman, who picked herself back up, wiped her own tears and silently decided, what would be, would be, and moved on for her son’s sake. She proved that she had the metal to stand up against fearful odds. Even when she was falling she rose to make her son feel loved and wanted.

I salute her spirit and will always remember Siya as the woman from yesterday.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think? Also finish the sentence, I kept reading because....