Punishment

A poem I put together on the basis of the topic 'Domestic Violence'.

Your keys collide with the glass table,
As you release, in angst.
You plough the casement shut,
Holding the aged pride that matured,
Throughout your days of youth.

A bride gift, you reminisce
As you taste the sharp whip
Trickle down your throat
Forgotten, Remembering
How different life was
Back then.

Pouring the third,
Shifted thoughts descend into despair
Recalling the hands that held you up
Shaping your backbone,
Moulding your dirty mouth
Into something more ideal.

Those hands that lent comfort,
Also lashed confinement.
Rules to be adhered to,
Punishment ritually given
Beating you into something better,
For your own good.

Knocking back the last,
Wincing, you hold it down.
Flickering your eyes down memory lane,
Down down down he goes,
As the punishment is reciprocated
The taste of freedom becomes savoury
Between the clench of your jaw.

Dahlia

Author's Note

Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. I have only recently started to pen my thoughts with no other creative background, so any constructive criticism would be deeply appreciated.

Reviews

[The Ink Chapters]

well written, and very free verse. It is hard to have criticism when it seems that the point of this poem is to be very loosely written with no clear cut structure. well done however :)