The Dilemma

A Story by bed's writing

Think less imagine more!

My journey started when I was 11 and my brother Riyan was just 4. I thought how I could survive. Life was really difficult when Maa Baba died on 4th of August 2000. I was helpless with no one to feed. I always thought of my little brother ahead of myself. Maa and baba left a lot for me both in terms of work and money. Fortunately enough I got a work at a grocery shop and could feed myself and my brother Riyan.. Life goes on rapidly and after 10 years here am I opening my new shoe store. People asked me "Rishav why a shoe store you could have opened a cafe or a music store or maybe a hardware store!" But poor world forgets when someone leaves you forever only shoes stay with you.. Thus I kept my Maa and baba's pairs at the front desk of my store..
I named it after them.. After battling for supremacy I have able to give my little brother a good life where he can grow up much much better than I lived. Every morning I wake him up for school " No dada it's still not 6:30 you are lying" he says and I keep smiling because I know I fixed the clock 15 minutes faster. Life goes on smoothly like an Irish latte on your lips engulfing through giving you the most beautiful feeling to yourself and your throat unless you feel it hurts your throat. I cleared every huddle but couldn't cross the huddle of love maybe.. or maybe I could but didn't want to push myself towards her. I saw her last week when I was busy at my store.. she was in a rugged jeans with a blue tee and a brown Aviator on her eyes may be searching for something looking through the glass door of my store.. " Excuse me !" She mumbled. I was too busy looking towards her eyes that I couldn't even hear what she said.. finally Ramesh my worker boy loudly called " Dada!!!" I said"hmm!" " Kichu bolche monehoy dekhun toh( asking for something take a look!" ) I said " yes how can I help you ma'am". The word ma'am gave her a wonderful smile which gave me a wonderful scene to capture in my memory forever... " Will you help me out" came a sweet interrogative melody " sure! What's the problem?" Asked confident Rishav. I never felt so confident in my life.." Actually my sneakers torned of I can't wear it for a single step I dragged it from Esplanade through the scratchy footpaths can you fix it" I looked at the torned sneakers the poor sneakers were torned into several major pieces even her ripped rugged jeans was in a better position than the sole of the sneakers.. " I am sorry it can't be fixed ma'am " " come on do something na !! Please please I can I go home I don't have the car today.." I said I can't fix it but you can reach your home today.. " how?" She was interrogative again this time tucking up her eyebrows. I went upstairs to my go down where Mrs Choudhury gave her kolapori chappal to fix
. It was torn too but could be worn.. " Will this do your work? It's torn too" She took it in her hands though I offered her to her legs. " Thank you thank you " screamed she " you are a saviour! When should I return it?" " Do return it by tomorrow ma'am it belongs to my customer".. " don't call me ma'am I am Asha " as she raised her soft hands towards myself " I am Rishav" usually I take my name and then say proudly that I am the owner of the shop but to her I couldn't .. she shook my hand and said something turning back which I couldn't listen as my heart was in a dilemma was it a love or just courtesy !

She came again next day but this time her teeth biting her tongue for an apology and again I couldn't hear her but this time it was not love or affection but the glass door which stopped the voice coming in as she was outside the shop with her friend. She said something may to her dear friend and smiled back and hold her smile for an extra fraction of time. I kept believing that may be she felt something for me and I too for her.. maybe I could end my last 'duty' . May be a life time imprisonment with her..
For 3 days I only imagined her .. her eyes with those innocent and intriguing looks.. her hairs and lastly her touch which I still rub it and want to feel it again. But all romantic thought was thrashed outside yesterday night and maybe I will remember forever if she doesn't come back to me atleast comeback to give the chappals back.

Yesterday was Riyan's birthday.. I promised him I will pick him up from school.. I couldn't as new lots arrived in the afternoon . I was ready for the 'scolding' from my little brother ." One day... I just asked for one day and you couldn't" said the dejected face.. " I am sorry but I was preparing for your gift". " Gift"!!" The dejected face lit up " yes come with me my little sherkhan".. I took him to the Rolico's where he longed for some burgers and choco lava cakes.. " Thank you dada,maa,baba he said I knew all three was me.. " he ate 5 burgers and 3 choco lavas I couldn't ... Riyan couldn't understand but I did... I saw her .. I saw her again .. I saw a known face with a wonderful smile on her lips again.. she came in with someone a little aged which I presume was his father... She was in black jumpsuit looking gorgeous as ever . They were waiting for someone as the waiter was refused. There was a momentary pause as her eyes met mine...She smiled again but it lasted for very few seconds as a tall handsome hunk entered and I saw her face smiling all the way . I could see love all over eyes as she soon as she glazed at the hunk.. The man was tall his body well maintained. And then the moment I didn't want to witness.. I knew it could or would come to me but not today.. but all in vain as she embraced her tightly and hugged her as if they have known each other for a long time.
I couldn't stop myself but to leave though Riyan wanted another choco lava but I dared not to..

Today I was late waking up... Riyan left for school.. I couldn't serve him breakfast.. I was feeling irritated sad as if something was missing ... I felt almost the same when my parents left me... I was disgusted with myself as I couldn't have Riyan breakfast his pocket money his lunch for school and not even opened my shop.. I hurriedly wore the trousers and run as fast as I could... As I reached to the shop it was 10:30 exactly 1 hour 30 mins late I searched for my keys which fell from my pocket I quickly picked it up... I went forward to open the shutters and I found a brown shoe packet.. I was totally freaking out that Ramesh didn't even arranged the lots the careless is such a waste that he kept outside the shop. As I took it in my hand I realised that I don't keep that brand in my store... I was puzzled.. I opened it...... To find the most extraordinary thing .... It was Mrs Choudhury's kolapuri chappals with a yellow note on it....... Which said........" It was my brother"..
I smiled and kept looking at the note.. my dilemma turns into delight!!!