Mood switches

Mood switches

A Poem by Samwam

"Mood switches", testing, one, two, three, mind control. Are we all truly capable of mind control within the self?! Crazy i may seem to accept the challenge. May it be to my detriment that i would be so lucky to suffer from this illusive disease. Self preservation and brain washing, the latter may seem easier to choose. I'd instead spend my lifetime fighting it since this one life is all i have and living truth is my self preserve. Rocky roads ahead and by all means, i'm ready, seat belt fitted and here i go.

© 2014 Samwam


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Like walking around with blinders on scared afraid wondering when will this wreck ever happen, maybe in a store ,or stuck in traffic, will I make it home? Did I remember to bring my meds? The thought of deep disorders sink in of confusion not know right in wrong. Will I manage walls closing in. Your not alone here I was told I had my illness last month. I cant sleep, I cry sometimes I get manic, I have panic attacks of the day I wanted to end it all to be honest. I learned that wasn't the answer. I been this way forever and dogged it off and tried I failed so many times. I did drugs I drank alcohol I had sexual sins. The biggest problem right now is dealing with public places I want to break down and being alone doesn't help me I want it sometimes but I really miss being in love having friends being a people person I use to be. Im on 2 meds for mine the key is manage and loving yourself finding new things to love. 2 of my greatest loves are hearing the violin and piano idk they really give me comfort. Will it be with us for life yes. Your not alone my friend:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Samwam

10 Years Ago

You are so genuine. Thank you for sharing apart of your story and the fact that you have an understa.. read more
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10 Years Ago

:)))))))))))))) Just me Sam:) Your so welcome:) I am just happy I have some1 to talk too gets it all.. read more

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Added on January 16, 2014
Last Updated on January 16, 2014

Author

Samwam
Samwam

Cape town, western cape, South Africa



About
I enjoy reading and have always hoped to have my writings read. Whether it be ,my thoughts or poems. Dream is to publish a memoir. I enjoy spending time with myself reflecting on most things in life a.. more..

Writing