Constant battle with the unknown self

Constant battle with the unknown self

A Poem by Samwam
"

Struggles with my condition(bipolar II) expressed at moments when in darkness.

"
I'm tired of screams that persists in the still
Cause I don't understand them and don't feel i ever will
How did i get here? How long will i stay?
Pretend on the outside that i'm inside ok
i feel so empty, with no view of escape
outside of this darkness , although at times i feel safe
Do i stay or get get out, i can't seem to choose
If i choose either way, feels as though i will lose
I need so much help, is there no one who sees
That i'm on my last breathe and slowly scraping my knees
It comes unannounced like a boss owning me
Though my mind tells me, sweety, can't you see you are free?!
Ten thousand people, ten million in sight 
suffer from what i do and with so little light
Its so easy to say, hey, here's help, you're not alone
It's like telling a stone, here boy, catch a bone.
I know this won't last, it feels like forever
And when it vacates, i feel as light as a feather
I look forward to the mood which some time will change
And await the former to later disrupt and rearrange 

© 2014 Samwam


Author's Note

Samwam
Please excuse any grammar problems and i welcome all criticism. First time writing and thank you in advance.

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Reviews

Don't worry to much about mistakes, as mistakes will help you to learn more, polish more and be refine as the best poet. Always remember even Diamond need polishing. I love your depth and sense of writing because you have pain in your words and you are raw and pure with your work. That's creativity at the best form. So value your self you will go beyond imaginations of your dreams, when you reach there think of me:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Wow again:) You're an amazing writer:) I love it , You give this sense of ease feel of comfort within:) Its felt. World needs more like you:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Hi!

I hope you take it as critic, your writing is fine, it's just that it's a bit chaotic and messy. It's ok to deliver it as a big chuck and it's ok to use words on flow, but the message is unclear even after a few reads.
What I propose is just to re-write it and see how it come out.

From what I could understand, our hero feels unsafe, and is afraid it will affect the surround and how the other take him .

Posted 10 Years Ago


Samwam

10 Years Ago

Hey thanks for the criticism. I have tweaked it a bit and hope, it is much more clearer than its pri.. read more

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Added on January 16, 2014
Last Updated on January 16, 2014

Author

Samwam
Samwam

Cape town, western cape, South Africa



About
I enjoy reading and have always hoped to have my writings read. Whether it be ,my thoughts or poems. Dream is to publish a memoir. I enjoy spending time with myself reflecting on most things in life a.. more..

Writing

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