crushed grapes

Fight for love.that moment u love someone but can't tell them

On cloud 9 I sing a song so blue.I heard a voice so cool wishper through the new,The old stands as a crouch of hope.As I ascend the mount of gold,Waiting for wen I cross the river of pain,To rest on the bed of grapes.Blossom oh blossom I wish pucked the rose but now I got a taste of poison from a dame.So now on cloud 9 I sing a song as blue as moon,The new is now too late,But hope remains of late.The desent is far frm gold,As pain brings out the blood that lies within the grape.That grape is my heart beating for u with pain.

Reviews

[h d e rushin]

thank you Spoken Vine for allowing me to comment. Poetry, in my opinion, is not just the sedulous
transfer of human sincerity on paper. Nor the analytical perception of meaning and importance.
But the seduction of both of those things within the framework of perseverance. And most poetry
written in the 21st century is, without any doubt, the poetry of persistence in spite
of counterinfluences. I think this poem , and especially the last line of it, makes that point
very clear. The idea is a universal one but still a great one nonetheless.

Using a single stanza to convey all your thoughts mean simply that you want the image
of all you said taken in at once. No other stanza's mean that there is a clear and decisive
relevance to the matter at hand. And I agree with this choice of breathless thinking.
Just be careful of the vexatious 'saying the same thing in different ways' conundrum.
And being Nigerian can only mean that grammar and spelling will eventually take care
of themselves. Nice work my friend. But you cant stop to pick those mythological roses, which means,
you cant write poetry without reading it.

thanks for sharing this with us...dana

[spoken vine]

Wow rushin thanks a bunch. You do get the picture I'll sure look into your corrections and I guess being nigerian the grammer does take care of itself.

[wordman]

sounds like a good rap song

[spoken vine]

Thanks mary I guess I will take to your corrections plus I'm also here to develop my skills so your review is quiet noted

[Mary Bradley]

Very interesting poem Spoken Vine ... some misspelt words need correcting and maybe to write it in a different style instead of in one continuous style of writting , so it's easier to read and enjoy :-)
Sorry if my review is not what you're looking for

[spoken vine]

Love can be very complicated