The final thoughts of the general

I fear to walk this path alone,
I fear that I am not clean enough for the throne,
I walk down the halls of my ancestors,
The deeds of the past they truly fester,
My unholy heart weeps for those who will die,
My heart weeps for me who will fall,
I weep for the horses who will be battered and broken,
I live for those I cannot save,
I lead my men into battle today,
To keep the powerful enemy at bay,
My hand quivers as I write this,
I wish to retreat to eternal Bliss,
This is not what I signed up for,
To die and fame and Glory,
I'm not ashamed of my life choices,
I'm ashamed I didn't get to make some of them,
For my daughter I tell her I love her,
For my wife God bless her beautiful soul,
When I see her someday in heaven,
I'll rejoice in the Lord my God,
I'm not ready for what's to come,
My men need me, I'm leaving now to die.