Give me something

A Poem by Samuel Ludke

Poem about love and your partner

Do you know how much you mean to me?
Do you see?
Do you know my love?
Do you see me?
I hope you can be there for me
If only you could see me now
Humble and prideful all at once.

© 2022 Samuel Ludke

Author's Note

Please look at my words and be honest.

My Review

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Reviews

JayG

• Do you know how much you mean to me?

Why thank you. But...who are you, and how can I see what you've not shown me?

My point? You, someone we know nothing about, are talking to someone unknown, about things for which the reader has no context. Ask yourself one critical question: What's in it for the reader? because unless you involve the reader, emotionally, there can be no interest on their part.

Remember, our goal isn't to inform the reader. Textbooks do that, and who buys textbooks for relaxing reading? Our goal is to make the reader feel and care. And for that to happen the reader must have context meaningful to them, as-they-read. We don't, for example, say, "I cried at my father's funeral." Instead, we work to make the reader weep. And that takes an emotion-based approach, not the fact-based one you're currently using.

The thing we miss is that in our school-days we're given skills that will help us earn a living. And what kind of writing do most employers require of us? Reports, papers, and letters, which is why the vast majority of our school-day writing assignments were essays and reports—which require a nonfiction approach that doesn't work for either poetry, or fiction. Itrequires an emotion-based and character-centric approach, while nonfiction is fact-based and author-centric.

So a book or two on poetry techniques would make sense. You might also want to visit the Shmoop site, which is a great resource. When you get there, select, Student. Then, using the button to the left of the mid-page search window, select poetry. They have lots of great poems there, analyzed to great depth, t show why, and how they work.

You might also want to read the excerpt for Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, for a grounding in how the flow of language can make or break a poem. He's focused on structured poetry, but what he says about prosody is somethig every writer should know.

Sorry my news isn't better, but you did ask. 😋

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

Posted 2 Years Ago

• Do you know how much you mean to me?

Why thank you. But...who are you, and how can I see what you've not shown me?

My point? You, someone we know nothing about, are talking to someone unknown, about things for which the reader has no context. Ask yourself one critical question: What's in it for the reader? because unless you involve the reader, emotionally, there can be no interest on their part.

Remember, our goal isn't to inform the reader. Textbooks do that, and who buys textbooks for relaxing reading? Our goal is to make the reader feel and care. And for that to happen the reader must have context meaningful to them, as-they-read. We don't, for example, say, "I cried at my father's funeral." Instead, we work to make the reader weep. And that takes an emotion-based approach, not the fact-based one you're currently using.

The thing we miss is that in our school-days we're given skills that will help us earn a living. And what kind of writing do most employers require of us? Reports, papers, and letters, which is why the vast majority of our school-day writing assignments were essays and reports—which require a nonfiction approach that doesn't work for either poetry, or fiction. Itrequires an emotion-based and character-centric approach, while nonfiction is fact-based and author-centric.

So a book or two on poetry techniques would make sense. You might also want to visit the Shmoop site, which is a great resource. When you get there, select, Student. Then, using the button to the left of the mid-page search window, select poetry. They have lots of great poems there, analyzed to great depth, t show why, and how they work.

You might also want to read the excerpt for Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, for a grounding in how the flow of language can make or break a poem. He's focused on structured poetry, but what he says about prosody is somethig every writer should know.

Sorry my news isn't better, but you did ask. 😋

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

Rating /100