In a word? Charming. I feel sorry for the helpless victim of your honeyed words that would be your girlfriend. No escaping this compression of thought, it's sway, it's intensity, it's lyrical music in perfect form and rhyme. Wow. Keep up the great work. Just wow.
I am actually impressed with this piece. You used the repetition nicely; and made it work without a rhyme scheme. That's something I don't see very often, it's one of my favorites.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you, but in actuality, the repetition was merely used because I couldn't come up with another .. read moreThank you, but in actuality, the repetition was merely used because I couldn't come up with another stanza, I'm sorry to say. Nonetheless, it works just as well. Perhaps even better.
There is a hidden mystery in this. The sigh of the songbird, the song of the songbird which renders a distant desire for somewhere or someone. Then the yearning for the same ability to be carried away whether physically by wings or spiritually by song. This was an enjoyment to read.