Alight Please Sweet Bird of My Wonder

Mon dieu. Je t'aime.

Alight please, sweet bird of my wonder,

sing true for me your sound.

Purr in delight at thunder,

deduce for me your ground.

Lengthy curls spill frayed

in a winded fringe,

remarkably unafraid

and wildly subdued tinge.

On that breeze you soar,

your seraphic face does show,

little else but allure,

and feathersome glow.

Your sculpted visage with inlaid

a little nose and pouty lips,

and immaculate-displayed

ivory goddess ellipse.

But most divine and forever,

deeply brown as umber burned,

doth unreproachfully endeavor

yearning eyes I have discerned.

I beg you, dove, admit your appetite,

I’m ardently ill, a-seized by fierce lust.

Fly here Aphrodite,

cleaved en masse we may rust.

Reviews

[songstress]

Please pardon me if I interpret your poem incorrectly. I like the use of personification of this person you may/may not be writing of. Moreover, there seems to be a playfulness in the mention of purring at thunder and the pouty lips and nose. It seems, this little bird that you wish to "admit it's appetite," has a flirtatious, If bewitching aura is all the more attractive by the slight rhyming in the initial lines. It has a sort of whimsical air to it. the only problem I have is the line where you said "Your sculpted visage with inlaid a little nose and pouty lips." I feel like it interrupts the flow at "a little nose and pouty lips." otherwise, I see it as a good piece. Again, pardon me in my thoughts, if it is that I have misread your poem.

[Sam]

Thank you very much. I would have interpreted it the same way to be honest. It's absolutely supposed to be playful, flirtatious. It's actually the description for a character of a book I'll probably never finish, only not so prosaic. I took the best lines, I rhymed it where I could, changing as little as possible if it couldn't rhyme, even trying to keep it in the same order as I had written it. If I remember correctly, I was looking for a word that rhymed with lips, but it also had to sound romantic, feminine, and had to at least vaguely describe the shape of a smile without making the length of that particular line... well, longer. Thank you again.

[songstress]

you're welcome. That sounds interesting, I guess I know where you're coming from when you talk about stories like that. I hope it works out though.

[A. Amos]

Sam very nicely crafted work, you use wit to convey your message. Thanks for sharing

[Sam]

Possibly my favourite poem I've written thus far.