The thoughts inside my head, as I stood there, looking at her in the snow. My inner monologue.
As the snow around us drifted upwards, it was melting on the molecular level. The crystals of snow were slowly melting to water. Because nothing good lasts forever. I assume that fact was true, but maybe I am a pessimist. I assume that nothing will be around forever. Now we are inside, and we are drinking hot cocoa. The steam rises up from it, and the bitter chalk of cocoa coats my tongue.
As I had said, it was Tuesday forever. I was hit on the head by bad feelings, and it seemed as though the world would be Tuesday forever. Every day from here out would be Tuesday. The events would change, but the calendar would never advance. This cold dark and empty snow would be here forever. I had looked into the forest, and I had seen eternity, I had seen what the world would look like for the rest of time. We were the last people on Earth. In a few months, all of this will change, the winter kingdom will melt and wilt into the flowers and green grass of spring. We know that the 4th of July already happened. So, we know that time is advancing, there can be no doubt, but we cannot speed up time, even though we know this. Now is now.
I have got you here, and you are gorgeous, but you make me feel dark.
* I guess people are having a hard time understanding this so I'll elaborate on this piece. This is supposed to be the thoughts that the character was thinking in the last poem "Her Dark and Evil Beauty II." There is everything that is happening in the outside world (the snowball fight between the guy and the apparently very beautiful girl etc), and then there are all the thoughts that the guy feels like he can't tell her, like she is no doubt drop dead gorgeous, but she makes him feel "dark" or depressed. The specific girl I was thinking of (from a few years ago, so she was in her 20s) was exactly that: beamingly gorgeous, but she really didn't smile or laugh much, and she brought you a bit down. So, you were caught in her web. Her gorgeous beauty pulled you toward her, but her sour demeanor pushed you away and made you feel like junk when you got close to her.
My Review
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Sometimes we feel that we are taken for granted by someone and that makes us feel dark.
But the topic is interesting and might be a series (novella) to be made into a book.
Great!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you for reading, Dhaye! That is a great idea for expanding this story.
I read all three and before I read I wasn't sure if they were continuations of the same story or dif.. read moreI read all three and before I read I wasn't sure if they were continuations of the same story or different versions of the story so I just waited until I read the whole "series" until I commented. I honestly think the first one was my favorite, I'm not sure exactly what it was about the vibe that I just really liked but all of them are wonderful.
9 Years Ago
Wow! Thank you so much! :) Writing for people like you is why I write! God bless!
A Tuesday forever when you have a hot date on Wednesday is certainly hard. Time to get a new calender. But then again you could try chocolates ... the kind with liquor inside. Nice ...
This was so cool Samuel. I like how you brought Tuesday forever into this an it sure did feel that way in your writing. This has highs and lows, light and dark. Nice contrasting piece
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much Will. It seems like you are really one of the people who gets what I'm trying to w.. read moreThank you so much Will. It seems like you are really one of the people who gets what I'm trying to write. That is so cool. Thank you for reading. I thought in this piece, it would be nice to expand on the "Tuesday forever" line, and to dive into that universe. I think it hooks in nicely with the last poem, it gives the readers nice "insider information" that only they would get if they read the last piece. Obviously, I appreciate you reading! Thanks!
and this one just gave me a glimpse perhaps of things to come:
I have got you here, and you are gorgeous, but you make me feel dark.
Dark seems to be a place the character feels comfortable.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Very true. Hopefully the character is fighting to change, though. This piece is about the in between.. read moreVery true. Hopefully the character is fighting to change, though. This piece is about the in between, wherein you want to be with someone, but they drag you down. Even a raucous snowball fight doesn't break down the walls. Thank you for the read, Icelandic!
I hate to say it but can you please explain the story. I didn't quite understood what you wanted to express in it. Please
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Haha. Ok, it was supposed to be the thoughts that the character was thinking in the last poem "Her D.. read moreHaha. Ok, it was supposed to be the thoughts that the character was thinking in the last poem "Her Dark and Evil Beauty II." There is everything that is happening in the outside world (the snowball fight between the guy and the apparently very beautiful girl etc), and then there are all the thoughts that the guy feels like he can't tell her, like she is no doubt drop dead gorgeous, but she makes him feel "dark" or depressed. The specific girl I was thinking of (from a few years ago, so she was in her 20s) was exactly that: beamingly gorgeous, but she really didn't smile or laugh much, and she brought you a bit down. So, you were caught in her web. Her gorgeous beauty pulled you toward her, but her sour demeanor pushed you away and made you feel like junk when you got close to her.
There is a difference between being a pessimist and a realist. A great story that can be taken both simply, and with a deeper philosophical meaning. Thank you for sharing.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you Brit! Yeah, I was hoping to go philosophical with this one. I was hoping that it would get.. read moreThank you Brit! Yeah, I was hoping to go philosophical with this one. I was hoping that it would get so philosophical that the literal meaning would almost blur out, like the scenery in the snowstorm. Metaphors galore! Thank you much for reading. God bless and see you around!