The Cinder of the Sun

The cinder of the sun

 

 

The sun is an ember, 

glowing orange and low in the sky

 

It is a burning cinder,

like incense with a trail of smoke rising up off of it,

low and magic

 

Like a mirage, shimmering

in the vapors of the sky's blue aether

 

We see these things,

as we sound the hasty retreat from the beach,

The bending arc of dark blue heaven is above us

-The black of night begins its march across the sky

 

We pack the truck, as an ocean of cool air rolls across the land.

We shiver, as it chases us away,

-we scatter.

 

We swim through the warm evening air,

that flutters through our hair as we drive-

The way is lined with a wild, untamed summer,

children turning cartwheels on lawns,

and fireflies that spark the dark evening air.

 

Sandy hair

Sunglasses

Salty skin

Beautiful girls

The divine summer sun

 

 

GodblessAmen

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

ohhhhhhhhh the summer nights of youth ... i do remember them ... your last verse and ending line says it all but you do a great job of luring me in and putting me there on the beach as the sun goes down ... nice job .. very creative!
thanks for tweeking my memories
E.

[Samuel Pennell]

Thanks, E! Trying to strike that vein of nostalgia. Warmth on the ground, rumbling grey clouds in the sky as the sun sets. Yessir, the real summer for sure.

[TL Boehm]

It is a burning cinder,
like incense with a trail of smoke rising up off of it,
low and magic

Like a mirage, shimmering
in the vapors of the sky's blue aether

this is such a beautiful almost surreal image - very tastefully penned.

[Samuel Pennell]

Thank you so much! It all came to me at once. A nostalgia for summer. I was surprised that the inspiration came to me that swiftly. Also, I have been surprised by the huge amount of positive reactions to this poem. People really seem to love it!

[Leigh]

Lovely images, like the closing stanza that finishes it off nicely

[Samuel Pennell]

Thanks, Leigh! That just sort of came to me all at once.

[Leigh]

Great work

[Shane Mohamed]

I really like the imagery in this. It makes it appear very realistic. Great job. Keep writing.

[rutherford]

Gives me a warm surreal feeling and a vibe of Dandelion Wine and Beach Boys songs

[Samuel Pennell]

Dandelion Wine-Love that reference! It will set your head to swimming.

[Dayran]

A true worshiper of the sun ... a picture that says it all. Nice ...

[Samuel Pennell]

Thanks, Dayran! You really got the groove of this poem!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

An almost old world comes to the fore while reading this descriptive piece, well done, good read.

[Samuel Pennell]

Thanks, Thomas! I appreciate when other good writers read my work. It means a lot.

[icelandicblue]

I loved your imagery and your use of swim and ocean within the context of summer. I could feel the beauty of it all, especially in this stanza:

We swim through the warm evening air,
that flutters through our hair as we drive-
The way is lined with a wild, untamed summer,
children turning cartwheels on lawns,
and fireflies that spark the dark evening air.

[Samuel Pennell]

Thank you Icelandic! I always appreciate it when you read my writings. I totally respect your craft. I have loved reading your works, and it means a lot to me to have you review my works. Good to be back and see you around!

[icelandicblue]

The pleasure is mine. It's a lovely poem.

[linear]

Summers dying embers turning into autumn .........colours, fragrances and a salty breeze flying ........children playing, all is well in this picture you paint........... :O)

[Neville]

Another blindingly graphic & intensely gripping take on the end of a summers day. Congrats are in order Samuel. All Good Things, Neville

[Samuel Pennell]

Thank you so much, Neville for the kind words!