Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine draft...

       I didn't understand how he could've done something like that. My first thought was that I never wanted to see him again, but I had to be rational, despite how irrational he had been. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe he did feel bad about it. Or maybe, just maybe, there was some slim chance that he was developing the same odd, rapid feelings that I was.

        Regardless, he had been rude and irrational. He deserved nothing less than the punishment I'd given him. The silent treatment. Worse yet, not seeing me at all.

        I hardly left the house unless absolutely necessary. For two weeks, I had also been punishing myself. Although, I felt like I deserved it anyway for being so stupid and for being so trusting. I should have gone with my instincts from the get go.

        I finally gave up on serving his sentence, feeling that maybe he was, in fact, truly sorry. Every day that I had remained silent and out of sight, he had left a single flower on my door step with little notes.

        “I'm so sorry.

        I was stupid.

        Forgive me.

        On the last day, no flower appeared, but a letter in an envelope with Violette carefully written across it, neatly in the very center. I snatched it up and ran to my room.

        I sat it on my desk, procrastinating reading it. I grabbed a cigarette out of the pack and lit it, throwing my lighter down carelessly on top of it.

        Should I hear, or read in this instance, what he had to say or continue my life as if I'd never met him, or better yet, as if he didn't exist at all?

        I took a long, piercing drag off my cigarette and exhaled, letting out a heavy, exhausted sigh. The right thing to do would be to hear him out.

        I picked up the envelope and turned it over, lightly rubbing my fingers against the edges of the seal, still fighting with myself over it all. Sighing again, I ripped the seal open and pulled the letter out.

        

        Violette,

        You can't imagine how deeply sorry I am for the way I acted. I never should have kissed you like that. Hell, I can't imagine how you must feel. I shouldn't have done that. I know I shouldn't have!

        I hope somewhere you can forgive me. I hope, mostly, you can forgive me enough to let me talk to you in person.

        I still can't tell you how sorry I am. I feel ashamed. Not because of you, but because of myself.

        I'll be at the park around nine, just like before, if you see it fit to let me explain.

        I am deeply, deeply sorry from the bottom of my heart.

        -Trevor

 

        Well, short, but to the point I guess. Now, I just had to make up my mind as to what I would do.

        I remembered the way I felt the first time we met. And the second. And the third. Lastly, the end of the last time we were together. Where was it okay in any of this to kiss someone you were just getting acquainted with?

        Then, I remembered how I was starting to feel about him. It made me shudder. Surely, this thing called “love at first sight” didn't exist. What bullshit! One-hundred percent completely! I wasn't about to fall for that, so I guarded myself for it, in the small chance that he would even try to pull something some ridiculously stupid like that.

        Even so, I'd made up my mind. I'd go to the park, listen to what Trevor had to say, say my piece, and leave. I wasn't going to make the promise I wouldn't talk to him again, or stop being his friend, but it was impossible to say that things wouldn't be different or that things wouldn't change. The change was inevitable.

        A kiss from a stranger... a wonderful, intelligent, mentally invigorating stranger.

        

        Trevor was there, just like he said he would be, lying underneath the stars, staring at them intensely. He sat up, and just looked at me with such a sad, lonely face, when he heard my footsteps. I went and sat beside him, figuring it would keep me calm. I was disciplining myself to stay that way. I needed to at least try to be fair.

        “I know I've already said it a million times, but I am sorry.” The first thing I noticed was that his eyes weren't as vibrant and alive as they normally looked.

        “I know.” was all I could say to that.

        “I wasn't thinking clearly, obviously. I don't even know if I really have an explanation for myself, to be honest. I've just had weird feelings around you. There's just something about you” He hung his head, playing with a blade of grass.

        This was all so confusing. It was true that I had never met anyone like him. Wasn't this all to soon? Wouldn't it be criticized or considered crazy? Irresponsible? Or just straight up desperate? My mind was swirling like a whirlpool. Everything was happening too fast to be anywhere near logical. In a matter of seventy-two hours everything I had concluded about life had been turned around, spun around,been flipped upside down, and blended.

        “I freaked out. I shouldn't have. Lately it seems like my whole perception of life has changed. I don't understand it. Not one bit.” I responded. It was true though.

        We didn't say anything for the longest time. I assumed we were both just lost in our own thoughts. Now I just had so much to question about so many things. I was seventeen years old. I was too old to believe in any sort of fairytale. Yet, this is what it seemed like. I felt like each moment spent with him was somehow saving me. Was it a coincidence we met like that? I felt like crying again, but I wouldn't. I was trying to appear emotionless, undecided, just blank and unreadable. No one would ever take this seriously. It was just too scarily fast for me. Which had to mean that it would be too good to be true.

        I just looked around the park, feeling the slight breeze. Everything had a glow from the moonlight, making it even more surreal than it already was.

        Without thinking, losing all my inhibitions, I turned around to face him, staring momentarily before I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

        After a quick moment, I pulled away, staring at him again. What was I doing? What had I done? He looked at me, astonished. That made two of us.

        “You truly are a complex person, Violette.” he still looked at me, the same expression hugging his face.

        “I don't even understand myself.” I said in a sad monotone. I dropped my arms to my sides and sighed. “What is wrong with me?” Maybe Trevor had the answer. Someone had to, surely.

        “I don't think there's anything wrong with us. I just can't really think of anything, really. I don't know what to make of it.”

        “Neither do I.” I mumbled.

        What were we to do now? It was all so viciously random. Almost like a meteor out of no where. Falling fast through the vast sky, undetected, and then boom. I couldn't say that I loved him. I knew that wasn't what it was. Attraction, certainly. It was beyond physical though. That we had a connection of sorts had already been established, in my mind anyway. I wanted something out of it. Not a relationship necessarily, just something to justify everything that had happened.

        “What are we going to do now?” I finally asked.

        “I don't know. What would be the best thing to do? There's something, I know there is. Are we just trying to deny it all because of the circumstances? It's like a real-life romance that everyone thinks is impossible.” I felt nauseous at the mention of romance.

        “You're so crazy.” I half scoffed.

        “In case you don't remember, you just kissed me. So, I guess I'm not the only crazy one.”

        “You started this whole thing!”

        “You continued it.”

        “This is beyond absurd, Trevor.”

        “Is it really?”

        Absolutely it was! I couldn't believe he was actually trying to carry on this joke of a conversation. It was so immature and slightly insulting. For some reason a part of me was disagreeing. The truth was, I needed someone. I needed someone very, very badly. Yeah, I was that desperate. Desperate for someone to get me away for anything. He had done that so many times in the so few times we had been together. Was it only natural? Was I crazy? I decided I didn't care.

        I turned back to him and pulled him to me, and kissed him again, not letting go this time.

        

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Do you think things are moving too fast? Also, just any other critiquing you have. :) Thanks for reading!!

Reviews

[WhatsHerFace]

This story is seriously amazing. I can't wait to see what happens next.