Regretting Reality

Sometimes I wish,
that my life were like a dramatic movie.
But then I regret,
all of the missteps I took to get me there.

And as I sit in this van,
Looking at the stars in the black,
I feel this heaviness, 
as if the world were on my back.

Sometimes I wish,
that I could erase every thing that I've done.
Then I'd regret,
erasing all of the things that helped build me up.

The windows are down,
and there's rain in the frost air.
I will continue to look outward on,
until this world seems to care.

Sometimes I wish,
I could only not exist with this aging world.
But then again,
I wouldn't be the kid, trying to make the world change.

There's snow flakes now,
as I hold to all my worthless sin.
I know that I won't smile,
until reality makes me happy again.