Blaze: A Pizza Memoir

A simple trip for a free pizza turns into a growth experience among two very different but very close friends. And a couple of umbrellas.

“Free Pizza- all day, just today.” The website repeated the phrase like your mother telling you not to forget to buy milk. I pocketed my phone and turned to Sarah, she was giving me those shrunken eyes of annoyance.The line was wrapped around the building- we were waiting for the Iphone of pizzas.

   Between every couple of people stood a worker bee. They wore a plain black polo shirt with a small flame embroidered on the pectoral. “Jeez Samantha, we aren’t really going to wait in this for an eight dollar pizza are we?” Sarah asked, one of the bees started to buzz in our direction.

   “Eh it’ll be no time. Look, we’re already moving.” I said, the line inched forward to close a gap made by deserters.

   “May I see your hands?” One of the bees asked. He was an older gentleman and a little name tag said he was an owner. He had an inkpad and a stamp in his right hand, his left was gripping a stack of menus.

   “Yeah sure!” Sarah replied, slipping her phone back into the wallet on a string.

   “Stamps? Great idea. More places should do this.” I said. The man pressed and rolled the little fire emblem deep on to the back of my hand.

   “Yeah, we just started doing it at about three this afternoon. Too many people started cutting and, this way, everyone is happy. Got to tell the man at the door- ‘anyone past me has to have a stamp or no pizza’.” He closed the inkpad and smiled at us.

   “Gotta let the bouncer do his job right? That’s what he’s for.” I said to a bush next to us.

   “That’s absolutely right, ha, Rick as a bouncer...he’ll get a kick outta that. Ya’ll enjoy now.” The black polo’ed man went to the next group in line. Despite it all, we were moving up in line and it was growing behind us like a vine in summer time.

   “You make the dumbest jokes.” Sarah said, pulling her phone out again.

   “Hey, he laughed. That’s what matters. Every fifth joke is great if you ask me.” I replied, the clouds started to dim the lights.

   “Maybe every fifteenth one, but sure Samantha.” Sarah tapped three times on her phone and pushed it near my face, “look what Molly said.” My eyes bounced across the screen. Molly was angry about some social media page but it wasn't important. “We’re watching the entire series when we finish eating this s**t. It better be a good pizza.”

   “It’ll be a great pizza. Free pizza is always great pizza, its the definition of a college financial plan.” I took a step forward in line, the group in front of us had umbrellas leaning up against the rails. The bee that had the stamp was telling everyone behind us the expected wait time but no one seemed to flinch.

   “Once you hit that orange umbrella, the closest one, ya’ll are about an hour away. It really ain’t too bad. Lunch was smaller but it got to right about here. Most of ‘em made it back within their lunch break.” His voice dwindled as he moved to the next group a few steps back.

   “Sam. It’s gonna be two hours!” Sarah said.

   “We’re staying. It won’t take that long. They always elongate these things, like the estimates.” I replied.

   “Fine. But, if it starts to rain…” she started.

   “We’re out. I’ll do alot for pizza but, ruin my hair? Come on, who am I?” I said, running my hands through the brown locks I called my own.

   “You and that horrible, poofy, natural curl…” Sarah laughed, we moved up another step. The line was moving steadily to the door, some abandoned, or squeezed together, but progress was made. We reached the second umbrella, when it all happened. Thunder cracked and streaks of light flashed but the rain- wasn’t present. Heat lightning according to the group behind us.

   They weren’t right, just jumping to conclusions. The rain started just as the thunder came close enough to shake our eardrums. “D****t! We’re so close!” Sarah jumped an inch in anger.

   “Pssh, the rain’s going to pass over us in no time.”

   “Sam. You said the same thing about the line.” She said.

   “And I wasn’t THAT wrong! It’s only been an hour and fifteen. Our buddy back there said it would be at least two.”

   “Do I have a pizza in front of me yet? No. Clock’s still ticking.”

   “Well we can abandon. We can quit. Lose the last hour. We can make for the noodle place across the shopping mall.” I rocked back and forth on my heels. I tried to sell how easily I could be persuaded. Sarah watched for a moment. She wiped a single drop of rain off her shoulder and flicked it like a booger.

   “I’ll stick. Better be a damn good pizza.”

   “It’ll be the best pizza you have all week. There’s arugula and…” Sarah started giggling.

   “Who files that in the pro column? I mean what the hell Samantha! Could you be any more stereotypical.”

   “Yeah. I could be wearing a baseball hat and some sperry’s right now.” I replied.

   “You’re ketchup. Just so often, you’re ketchup.” She replied, covering her laughs of embarrassment with her hand.

   “That was one of my jokes!”    

   “Yeah, it was like the fiftieth of the day. I’ll admit you can be funny...every fifteen jokes. Like I said earlier.” We took another step forward. The umbrellas of all the guests around us deployed.

   “It was beautiful, poetry really. ‘Ketchup, the white people of condiments.’” I relived the moment, arm swing and all.

   “Jesus you’re not that funny.”

   “Don’t tell him that, he might smite you.” I replied. She let the silence roll her eyes back. The line was moving more now, just like the rain. We were fortunate enough to be surrounded by two groups with umbrellas. Pity is a beautiful weapon if you wield it right and Sarah certainly could. The groups around us glued their umbrellas together so that we could survive the shower.

   We were around the corner. The bouncer, and what kind of pizza place has a bouncer really, was in sight. He wore the same black polo as the man who’d misjudged our wait time. “Yeah, that’s about right,” Sarah bashed the side of her phone against her palm.

   “What is that gonna do Sarah?”

   “S**t Sam I don’t even know anymore! It won’t load okay? What would you do?” She asked.

   “Uh, be patient? Live in the moment? Twiddle my thumbs? There are countless things.” I replied.

   “Well I was going to share this incredibly frightening video with you but now I can’t, so its more your lose than mine.” Sarah said.

   “I hate frightening videos. It’s always super weird ones with you too.”

   “Yeah, like Salad Fingers. That one’s Molly’s favorite.” Sarah seemed to check a window playing a memory in her mind for a split second.

   “I have no idea what that is.”

   “You’re kidding. Salad Fingers?” Sarah asked, she changed her voice to a creepy drawl. “And you look tasty Mr. Gray...yummm yes you are tasty.”

   “Yeah...no. Just a straight no to that voice.” I was awestruck her voice could turn to such a meltingly creepy sound. The line pressed on. We were under the first of two awnings now, the second held the bouncer.

   “We’ll watch it when we get back to your house. Is it cool if I chill out there, I’d rather not be home until a bit later?” Sarah asked.

   “Yeah that’s fine. I’m not watching that Salad Finger thing though.” Sarah threw up an eyebrow. I would be watching that Salad Finger video unless I could think of same earthquake causing excuse. “Well at least pizza is within arms reach.”

   “Clocks still ticking.” Sarah said, still pleading with her phone to link itself to freedom.

   “Oh who are you kidding? You won’t abandon the line now. We’ve survived rain and close to an hour and change of waiting.”

   “Nearly.” Sarah replied. Her phone must have linked up. I could see her  eyes bounced around from left to right, like a game of championship intense pong.

The giant window panes gave you a clear view of the staff and the patrons. It was packed. There was one family, just two tables back and one table in, with four kids and both parents. One child was wearing headphones as he  ate around the crust. The other had some electronic keeping him isolated.

   “Hey look at this. I’ll never let my kid eat dinner with us if they did something like that.” I pointed my finger, knowing it was a feeble attempt at pointing someone out from this distance.

   “Yeah, what are you pointing at exactly?” Sarah asked, bobbing her head around the window.

   “The kid, just behind this orange guy. He’s got headphones on, they’re blatantly our most hated brand.”

   “Beats- what a piece of s**t right? I still don’t see them.” Sarah said.

   “Look, from the railing? The second table up from the door.”

   Ah yeah. That’s kinda messed up that he’s just, ignoring his family. I agree, I’ll berate my children for doing that. But…” Sarah said.

   “Kids these days...I feel like the parents give up on teaching them manners.” I said, watching the boy take a slow distracted bite.

   “So, I’m trying to be nicer about people. Since we just always assume the worst. What if that kid has social anxiety and he has to have some silence so he doesn’t get scared?” Sarah said, she was watching the boy so intently we left a gap in the line.

   “Well you go right ahead and consider that. I think the kid’s a dick.” I walked up to the bouncer, we were just about to gain entrance somehow.

   “Oh no, obviously one of us has to or the apocalypse will start. So by all means the gauntlet has fallen to you.” Sarah said.

   “Excuse me, did you go to Louisville?” The bouncer asked Sarah, pointing at her lettering down her sweatpants.

   “No, but I root for them.”

   “Oh where do you go? Kentucky?” He asked as he checked the line inside.

   “Xavier actually. Right up on the edge of Cincinnati.”

   “Oh, I’m from around there- you know Dayton?”

   “Yeah its a great little city. I go to concerts all the time. In the Community Complex.” Sarah replied, she was eyeing the line inside.

   “They have a great basketball team. It’s not Louisville but still. They’re Division One right?”

   “Yeah but only in basketball, we don’t even try and play football or anything.” Sarah said, the pizza was practically so close you could steal it.

   “One of the players from Louisville actually owns a good portion of our company. It’s a good small talk question to ask here, but Dayton works too.” The Bouncer said just before catching his breath. “Well anyway, I wish you the best of luck, you too sir. Enjoy the pizza folks.” The bouncer opened the door and there we were. It was an orange and grey interior with a wood fire pizza oven and stacks of fresh dough. Everything smelled like sauce and cheese. It was a set of sensations worth the wait.

   The menu had every topping you’d want on a pizza, even a little bit of spinach, and they bragged about their one hundred and eighty second cook time. This pizza chain was going places and I wanted to be at every one of them.

   Sarah pushed me ahead so she could decide. We’d eaten here before, at a different location, but she had this same issue of being caught between the hot seat and the cold menu. “What are you getting?” She asked.

   “The pesto pizza I think. I might switch for the spicy sauce.” I stepped up to the line and repeated just that, I gave them my name and moved along down the line. They weren’t kidding about the one hundred and eighty seconds, as soon as I filled my drink and sat down they called out my name. It was a luscious bubbling circle and it was exactly what I needed. I grabbed Sarah’s pizza too and we dug in. The tray was as hot as the pizza, but it wasn’t a deterrent. I pulled and bit the cheesy circle until my mouth couldn’t take the heat anymore. Even then I’d occasionally push past it. Leaving nothing but a trail of bouncing happy tastebuds and minor burns. The wait, the heat, the rain, everything was worth it. I had it now- a free pizza of my own making that was both delicious and in great company.

   We’d only been there for fifteen minutes by the time the trays were crumb free. I bolted to the bathroom. The bee who had greeted us earlier was standing by the door, “how was everything?”

   “Delicious. Thanks you again.”

   “Of course, next time I suggest the spicy sauce. You know a louisville basketball player is a co-owner here?”

   “Your doorman mentioned that.” I left him without a farewell and slipped into the bathroom door.

   I came out shaking my hands from the faucet. Sarah was waiting, tapping her foot against the floor. “Let’s watch salad fingers Sam.” I nodded and the exit door led us right to her car. The store was but a fleeting emblem in her rearview mirror now.

  

Author's Note

This is a 3rd draft (not edited for sentence structure and smaller grammatical errors)

Reviews

[Dreamyme]

The beggining is a little slow but I guess the body and the end do compensate for it..an interesting read