Smiles and Scars

I am actually really happy with how this one turned out. I was going for good metaphors and that is what I tried to do. I am not really sure how the moral of the story turned out.....

It all starts the same. There was once a girl,

never sad, and depressed she wasn’t, but

filled with a numbness as she cut and cut

herself to sleep, dried tears tangled her curls.

 

She wasn’t sad, she was just far from pearls

found in the depths of the oceans. A mutt

lost in a field of breeds. She’s happy, but

but what has her stuck in this downward swirl?

 

It was as if her smiles and scars were one

because she did well with hiding the pain.

When people saw her, she didn’t look “done”.

 

Why did they seem surprised to find her gone?

They were the people who opened the vein.

They gave the bullets and she held the gun.

 

-S.L.S.

Author's Note

... so, do this! Tell me what this poem tells you, morally and emotionally, and I will tell you if you got what I was going for. I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading :)

Reviews

[Krystle Lewallen]

Very poetically sad. This poor girl, like so many others kept a façade up putting on a show for the people around her but they never knew her at all, I don't even think she knew herself. There was one line that completely stumped me though. What did you mean by, "When people saw her, she didn't look "done"?

[BuffyWillowDawnAngelGil..]

Oh it's so sad especially because the curls make me think of a really young and sweet beauty pageant participant!!! I dunno it's just like either young girl from colonial times or that... But ya it's also really well written.

[Coyote Poetry]

We never know what is going on in someone head. The poem open the door to thoughts and question. Many people will be near us. We won't see them. Last line leave the reader with questions. I lost two brothers to suicide. Part of me feel I didn't do enough. People hide behind fake smiles and if no-one cared. They will leave us. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote