Introduction

Thanks for reading! This is in fact an introduction to a novel. Haha...I'm working on several new ideas at once. Thank you for your time, have a great day.

Introduction

 5 YEARS IT HAS BEEN, and yet every day he continues to return. He can’t find it in his heart to accept that art and literature have been exterminated from society. That little fad is done and nonexistent. I relentlessly request that he change his ways and live life similar to the rest of us, but he refuses to see the truth. Sci-fi novels, fantasy bestsellers, aspiring epics, realistic fiction: those were overdone back in my youth. It upsets me when he carries his manuscript by his side, day by day, into my armory and gunshop, then marches into my barren office to demand that his book be published for the community to read. He doesn’t understand...bookshops and libraries, all swept away with the wind. Since the Demolition War all anyone wanted to do was take part in war. This war would take place in cities, and in homes...havoc enveloped our everyday lives. Nowadays, to kill would be for the thirst of blood.

This path we are taking...I just don’t know if there is light awaiting us in the horizon. It is clear to see the thirst in the eyes of many...the constant fire for murder and unjust actions makes up the outer layer of their hearts. I do feel that I myself have not completely strayed from the days when one could curl up in a rocking chair beside a blazing fire and read a novel. I remember when the building in which I run my gun store was instead a publishing company. But the part most vivid in my memory remains as the final day before the publishing company was to be replaced by my store, “Lora’s Firearms and Protective Gear."

 Yes, that was the day S.Z Write first carried his novel into my office as I was clearing out the last of the previous owner’s junk. That was truly the end of it...nothing but darkness since. To say I haven’t taken part in any of it would be a complete and utter lie. But I do like to think that all of who I truly am has not ceased. S.Z views the world as devoid of color and excitement. A black and white photograph of a demolished world. I know this because he tells me every day. I really believe that without his constant blathering about how the world needs art and beautiful literature to restore the peace there once was, I would be no different than the rest: obsessed and neglective. I would always ask him to stop coming with his novel and return to life. I would tell him to accept life for what it was...that he was wasting his life away with a hopeless dream. But secretly, somewhere within me, I did enjoy his presence. He gave me a sense that there was still some good in this world.

I never have read his writing. I don’t want to get trapped in the old world. Times have changed, and that’s the way it is. But honestly, I’ve got no place to be, no purpose. What really is the true purpose of life, in anyone's perspective? Well, all I know is I can’t see anything in this abyss. The walls are slimy and disgusting. The visible sky above is misty and gray. At the bottom, nothing to be found but my own death. And I’m in the middle of it all. In a more realistic view of it, I don’t see a happy ending to any path I take. The world is in ruin and devoid of hope. But...is it really? S.Z, I hope you have an answer. -Journal Entry 1, October 5, 2101

Author's Note

Thanks for reading! This is in fact an introduction to a novel. Haha...I'm working on several new ideas at once. Thank you for your time, have a great day.

Reviews

[Mister_Sir]

You established an excellent background for this world. As such, it was easy for me to not only picture the condition of the narrator here, but also a conceptualization of the world's urban and cultural decay. What I really appreciated was how the passage reminded me of 1984 and Fahrenheit 451. Obviously, it was the rotten bleakness that reminded me of the former, and it was the devaluation of literature and art that reminded me of Fahrenheit 451. I like how you began your presentation of the story here in the form of a journal entry, because the first person perspective allows for a more authentic perception of both the narrator's thoughts and his interactions with the outside world, which, of course, I assume will be made more intense and weighty as the story continues. Another thing that I like is that, even though this passage gives off the aura of being science fiction and dystopia, it does not seem as though it will be dominated primarily by an exploitation of those aspects for the sake of plot, like most genre is. Rather, I can tell that, like the aforementioned novels, it appears as though there is a strong probability that there will be a large emphasis on characterization. And I hope hat you will mix some more philosophy in there too. Furthermore, if you could provide a well-thought balance between plot and characterization and thereby establish a mature character and story base, then the novel will have reached an excellent level of maturity. Also, I really like the name S.Z Write; it sounds like a completely real name. I really appreciate that, because there is an exercise that I like to do in which I try to think of names that sound as though they are real. I have come up with several, but I have only used a few thus far in a story which I am still finishing.
As for technical suggestions, I had a few. First, I thought that the following phrases were cliché: “light awaiting us in the horizon,” “thirst in the eyes of many,” “Times have changed,” and “And I'm in the middle of it all.” I definitely suggest changing those phrases. Also, I thought that “slimy and disgusting” in the last paragraph sounded too immature for the established voice of the narrative thus far. And lastly, in the first sentence of the last paragraph, I think that “I have never read his writing” would sound better than “I never have read his writing.” So, that is pretty much all I have to say for this one. I apologize for taking so long to review. I already informed you about my situation. Nonetheless, I will try to get to at least one chapter from this piece per week.

Neurotically yours,
Mister Splitbrain

[Stars and Whales]

I appreciate that! Great critique! This is helpful; I will use advice to the best of my ability :)

[Pash]

I applaud your work already. Allot of potential here to build an epic story. The foundation is laid out well and I can't wait to read more, Keep on creating!
DB.

[Stars and Whales]

Thank you :)

[Gabby Nieves]

very interesting beginning and I have to say it has sort of a 1984 feel to it, I really hope you continue to keep the interested. though by your style of writing, I'm sure you will. thanks for sharing some real writing btw

[Stars and Whales]

Thank you. I will try my best! Thanks for reading, and feel free to let me know if you want anything reviewed by me. Have a good day.

[Aliasxyn13]

Nice Intro. If I lived in a world like that, I would want a book to read so I can escape that bleak world.
Look forward to reading the rest

[Stars and Whales]

Thank you! I actually have posted Chapter 1 and 2 so far if you want to check them out :) Thank for your kind review. Have an amazing day!

[Lydia Shutter]

I tend not to read stories and books on Writer's Cafe....really have not got the time to be honest. However, wanted to reciprocate since you have read my work. Interesting premise....though I hope it never comes to pass. Reading and writing are so important in this world. Without learning, we become nothing more than animals. You do have a few grammatical errors and have omitted punctuation in a few places, but all in all, this is good. Lydi*

[Stars and Whales]

Yes. I am trying to portray this: the human race as nothing but savage animals. Truly. Thank you!

[~Artemis~]

I'll admit I was a little apprehensive of this introduction at first, since I'm not the biggest fan of introducing stories this way, but you pulled it off. It was a nice way of introducing the problems of the world through another problem, this annoying author won't stop coming in and demanding his book be published even though literature has been banned. I like that the narrator isn't all squishy either. Sure he doesn't like the state of the world, but the fact that he's accepted it is what makes me invested in him. I really want to know more about him. (Watch the story now have a different protagonist. xD)

This is a solid draft, but if your looking to be published I would urge you to make your exposition even more subtle. Trust your audience a little more. You want your meaning to be clear but if your audience has to work a little to figure out what's happening, they automatically become more invested in your story. Instead of telling us that literature has been banned and that this society is super blood-thirsty, try revealing it through description and events. Since this a journal entry your character already knows about the reality of the world, so he would probably be less direct when he talks about it.

One last grammar thing, you don't need quotation marks at the end of the paragraph. The beginning, yes, but if the same person is speaking, you only need them at the beginning of the paragraph and the end of the very last paragraph. Also, I'm not entirely sure a journal entry should be in quotations. Maybe see what other author's have done and mimic that.

Right, that's all I got, let me know if I need to clarify anything.

[Stars and Whales]

Great! This helps a lot! Thank you so much!

[Mister D]

It's a good start. It also makes me wonder what topic or theme you're shooting for here? I guess I'll find out later.

[Stars and Whales]

I've actually posted Chapter 1 if you want to check it out. Thanks.

[R Smith]

well, that's an excellent Introduction, a sci-fi story I'm expecting, futuristic and yet reminds of the stories of Nazis in Germany burning books and the current situation in the middle east with Isis destroying art, let's hope they fail soon, back to your story, you are clearly an excellent writer and it seems from this that you have a pretty good story in store, certainly it will be a very dull and drab world without art and literature so I hope your tale will bring it all back to life but it's your tale so don't let me interfere, I'll just say that so far as I've got it looks like a potential winner :)

[Stars and Whales]

Thank you so much! I know you said you aren't a "story" guy, so for you to say that means a lot! Potential winner of what?

[R Smith]

winner as in best seller :)

[Stars and Whales]

ah... :) :D (: WOW! thanks a lot.

[JayceeC]

Get rid of quotation in the opening line. I also wouldn't use the strange sentence structure. If you want too emphasize the time try "Five years! It has been five years,and...." other than that, I'd probably blend the second and third sentences. The rest looks good although it's high irony that this is a journal lo g. I'd also skip a line before you add that tag.

[Stars and Whales]

Ok, thank you!

[Lewelyn Seabring]

Curious to see how far you stretch this out... I'm hoping to see a good, gusty novel! I like it!

[dan]

Zane, I've read your introduction and the writing is solid; not breathtaking but solid. But I have a problem. I have several mental health disorders, and one or two of them (anxiety and bipolar disorders) affect me adversely when it comes to reading LONG writes, such as chapters, stories and books. Because of that fact I'm afraid I won't be much use for you in the reviewing department. I'm very sorry. take care...dan

[Stars and Whales]

Yes, well thank you for your review. I appreciate it even if you can't continue :) Have a nice day.

[Willard Wells]

Very interesting the destruction of the worlds books and knowledge centers along with the bloodthirsty view of life, we have this now. ISS is destroying sites and art as they slaughter the people of a number of nations. Well penned. Reality imitating art or ?????