Introduction

Thanks for reading! This is in fact an introduction to a novel. Haha...I'm working on several new ideas at once. Thank you for your time, have a great day.

Introduction

 5 YEARS IT HAS BEEN, and yet every day he continues to return. He can’t find it in his heart to accept that art and literature have been exterminated from society. That little fad is done and nonexistent. I relentlessly request that he change his ways and live life similar to the rest of us, but he refuses to see the truth. Sci-fi novels, fantasy bestsellers, aspiring epics, realistic fiction: those were overdone back in my youth. It upsets me when he carries his manuscript by his side, day by day, into my armory and gunshop, then marches into my barren office to demand that his book be published for the community to read. He doesn’t understand...bookshops and libraries, all swept away with the wind. Since the Demolition War all anyone wanted to do was take part in war. This war would take place in cities, and in homes...havoc enveloped our everyday lives. Nowadays, to kill would be for the thirst of blood.

This path we are taking...I just don’t know if there is light awaiting us in the horizon. It is clear to see the thirst in the eyes of many...the constant fire for murder and unjust actions makes up the outer layer of their hearts. I do feel that I myself have not completely strayed from the days when one could curl up in a rocking chair beside a blazing fire and read a novel. I remember when the building in which I run my gun store was instead a publishing company. But the part most vivid in my memory remains as the final day before the publishing company was to be replaced by my store, “Lora’s Firearms and Protective Gear."

 Yes, that was the day S.Z Write first carried his novel into my office as I was clearing out the last of the previous owner’s junk. That was truly the end of it...nothing but darkness since. To say I haven’t taken part in any of it would be a complete and utter lie. But I do like to think that all of who I truly am has not ceased. S.Z views the world as devoid of color and excitement. A black and white photograph of a demolished world. I know this because he tells me every day. I really believe that without his constant blathering about how the world needs art and beautiful literature to restore the peace there once was, I would be no different than the rest: obsessed and neglective. I would always ask him to stop coming with his novel and return to life. I would tell him to accept life for what it was...that he was wasting his life away with a hopeless dream. But secretly, somewhere within me, I did enjoy his presence. He gave me a sense that there was still some good in this world.

I never have read his writing. I don’t want to get trapped in the old world. Times have changed, and that’s the way it is. But honestly, I’ve got no place to be, no purpose. What really is the true purpose of life, in anyone's perspective? Well, all I know is I can’t see anything in this abyss. The walls are slimy and disgusting. The visible sky above is misty and gray. At the bottom, nothing to be found but my own death. And I’m in the middle of it all. In a more realistic view of it, I don’t see a happy ending to any path I take. The world is in ruin and devoid of hope. But...is it really? S.Z, I hope you have an answer. -Journal Entry 1, October 5, 2101

Author's Note

Thanks for reading! This is in fact an introduction to a novel. Haha...I'm working on several new ideas at once. Thank you for your time, have a great day.

Reviews

[Mister_Sir]

You established an excellent background for this world. As such, it was easy for me to not only picture the condition of the narrator here, but also a conceptualization of the world's urban and cultural decay. What I really appreciated was how the passage reminded me of 1984 and Fahrenheit 451. Obviously, it was the rotten bleakness that reminded me of the former, and it was the devaluation of literature and art that reminded me of Fahrenheit 451. I like how you began your presentation of the story here in the form of a journal entry, because the first person perspective allows for a more authentic perception of both the narrator's thoughts and his interactions with the outside world, which, of course, I assume will be made more intense and weighty as the story continues. Another thing that I like is that, even though this passage gives off the aura of being science fiction and dystopia, it does not seem as though it will be dominated primarily by an exploitation of those aspects for the sake of plot, like most genre is. Rather, I can tell that, like the aforementioned novels, it appears as though there is a strong probability that there will be a large emphasis on characterization. And I hope hat you will mix some more philosophy in there too. Furthermore, if you could provide a well-thought balance between plot and characterization and thereby establish a mature character and story base, then the novel will have reached an excellent level of maturity. Also, I really like the name S.Z Write; it sounds like a completely real name. I really appreciate that, because there is an exercise that I like to do in which I try to think of names that sound as though they are real. I have come up with several, but I have only used a few thus far in a story which I am still finishing.
As for technical suggestions, I had a few. First, I thought that the following phrases were cliché: “light awaiting us in the horizon,” “thirst in the eyes of many,” “Times have changed,” and “And I'm in the middle of it all.” I definitely suggest changing those phrases. Also, I thought that “slimy and disgusting” in the last paragraph sounded too immature for the established voice of the narrative thus far. And lastly, in the first sentence of the last paragraph, I think that “I have never read his writing” would sound better than “I never have read his writing.” So, that is pretty much all I have to say for this one. I apologize for taking so long to review. I already informed you about my situation. Nonetheless, I will try to get to at least one chapter from this piece per week.

Neurotically yours,
Mister Splitbrain

[Stars and Whales]

I appreciate that! Great critique! This is helpful; I will use advice to the best of my ability :)

[Pash]

I applaud your work already. Allot of potential here to build an epic story. The foundation is laid out well and I can't wait to read more, Keep on creating!
DB.

[Stars and Whales]

Thank you :)

[Eve]

This is very interesting. It definitely interests the reader. There's a couple gramatcal errors, but those can be easily fixed. Only suggestion I would have would be in relation to the last two paragraphs of the introduction. You touch on several interesting ideas, but don't elaborate fully on any of them. Perhaps choose a couple to go into more depth with?

[I Am Svetlana]

I enjoyed the way you began your introduction. The whole time, I pictured an old man in a chair just speaking these words to me. I admire the past history you told about the store and how people wanted to get their stuff published. I wish to get my work published one day. I'll be sure to read more!

[Dhanadeepa Dixit]

I love the symbolism of converting a publishing company into a gun shop in this introduction. It really shows how the writer is serious about deeper meaning and imagery in the book, instead of just simply putting down something...less significant. I think you really need to have some philosophical content, or message in order to be ranked as a proper form of a dystopian. The presence of this already in the intro gives me high expectations for the rest of what's in store. I hope he continues on with this theme throughout the book.

I agree with the other reviews that separating the paragraphs would make for easier reading. As for the content, it flows very nicely and isn't overly descriptive, nor bland.

I'm intrigued, keep going (:

[Stars and Whales]

Is it not dystopian themed enough? Thank you, please let me know.

[Dhanadeepa Dixit]

no, no, it is. I was just saying that its nice to have that symbolism/ philosophical meaning in a dystopian like yours, which you included. so two thumbs up (:

[Stars and Whales]

Thanks, I appreciate your feedback!

[M.E.Lyle]

Here is an example of another wonderful piece of work you've done, but in the end, I am left in a world of hopelessness. On that note, I would say your writing achieved its intended goal. It begs the reader to wonder what tomorrow brings.

[Connie]

Interesting story idea, I also agree with separating the paragraphs.

[Blessed Vagrant]

Such an intriguing introduction..... I would say that it is simply beautiful and will catch the reader's attention effectively....

[Helen Crutchett]

This is an awesome and interestinging chapter and definately left me wanting to read more. I think this is going to be a great book!

P.S.....just separate the paras. a bit, makes for easier reading. Just a thought :)

[John F Carver]

Sorry. I see by what little I read it is perhaps well written. But it is pure fiction for the purpose of entertainment. I hope you understand some day. Everything I do, write, say, think or imagine must glorify God, all three of him. At least write about God if that is what you intend. I don't know. I have too much to do to keep loving folks like you. I love you, understand and welcome anything you have to say to me. I cannot just be entertained and glorify God the God that loves you. No matter who or what you are with all our hearts, minds, and souls, with me.

[Stars and Whales]

I'm a Christian trying to create fiction stories for the world to enjoy. I am disappointed that you think I'm not based off my writing. If I say anything I wouldn't normally say in real life, it is solely for the benefit of the fiction story, and for what needs to be said for the plot to flow accurately. In this Introduction, I don't see where you're coming from. I don't think I demeaned my Lord one bit, which is basically what you are criticizing me for. Please don't just go around telling Christians to do a better job or only write about the Trinity and all that is involved in that sole area. "..folks like me..." Please get a life, or tell me why you think this. You hurt my feelings mate, I apologize. Well, have a good day I guess.

[John F Carver]

And I'm sure they will enjoy them judging by your reviews. I am a Christian and I assure you I love you, I love Christ and our Father and I love your audience. And all things are permissible for you, but not all things are expedient. I see nowhere in the Scripture and nothing in my relationship our Father that indicates anyone is called to "entertaining the world."

I know you love them. That is God loving through you and I'm glad you have reacted to them with love and your disappointment in me shows that you at least loved me also. I don't see, and forgive me if I just don't see it. I have to learn too, but I don't see any way of bringing glory to Almighty God by just entertaining them. But if you do, go for it. And if you do not and are young you might want to do what is in your heart anyway. To God and to me, meaning I feel we both agree on this, it is more important that you be real for we are real, than to have to turn away from what you are doing and only half-halfheartedly pursue your writing gift for the LORD.

Don't ever be disappointed in a brother for not being able to handle what you can. It is like eating. You might be able to handle jalapeno and I might not even be able to tolerate garlic. It doesn't mean we cannot and do not love each other. On the contrary I love you not because you are exactly like me and wish, if I can use that word, you well with what you are trying to do.

I too tried. They were entertained. Now I am ashamed of what I did though I learned so much it turned out to be well worth it to me personally. It is my hope you can do a better job of it than I.

I have attempted to remove as much mention of my 18 novels all written in that successful attempt as was possible for me in order to attempt to lesson the impact those books had on people. It was a spiritual disaster. But all things work together for good for those who love God.

Fear not for there is no fear in true love. And don't ever fear learning. He that would be wise, let him first be the fool. My advice should you desire it then: Be yourself. God can't work with phonies and he despises halfhearted servants. If you are young. Grow. Love. And glorify God with the overall results even with that you may one day be ashamed of having written. Keep it real. Keep loving. Keep learning about God. It will all turn out for the good, if you love God. Don't be timid either.

But as for me, I have difficulty justifying writing fiction at all. If it is not true it is a lie, or fiction to those that somehow make a distinction between them. Most of what is called non-fiction is as we both know as Christians far from loving, far from Scripture, and also far from God's truth. Forgive me then if I refrain and please do not be disappointed with me. But if you do, remember I and real believers will always love you.

Be careful. Love God, and give the glory to our Father in heaven. The rest of them we are also called to love, but if they are not even real how can they be saved? Or even love us back? They are as those you are trying to entertain. It is difficult to me now after having tried, to see how it can be done. Stay tight with God in all that you do nothing else is worth giving up your soul to. Fare well.

[John F Carver]

Scanned a bit more. You're a good writer too. Enjoy and remember be real even if your novel turns out not to be. Love you guy.

[Stars and Whales]

Please don't preach to me. :( I'm sorry, seems a bit rude to be honest.

[Stars and Whales]

I don't get what you are trying to say.

[Wazeer]

It ws really absorbing! U hv got a gud flow of words.. Well written! Wish u all d luck. Hope u make it into a full fledged novel so we cn read all the chapters simultaneously. Wish u all d luck. :)

[Stars and Whales]

Thank you so much!

[Dawn Dreamer]

Beautiful start! It was intriguing, well written and it made me want to know more. You have a nice way of making the words flow which makes it comfortable to read. I loved it and I can't wait to read more!

[Stars and Whales]

I appreciate that, thank you very much. :)