Introduction

Thanks for reading! This is in fact an introduction to a novel. Haha...I'm working on several new ideas at once. Thank you for your time, have a great day.

Introduction

 5 YEARS IT HAS BEEN, and yet every day he continues to return. He can’t find it in his heart to accept that art and literature have been exterminated from society. That little fad is done and nonexistent. I relentlessly request that he change his ways and live life similar to the rest of us, but he refuses to see the truth. Sci-fi novels, fantasy bestsellers, aspiring epics, realistic fiction: those were overdone back in my youth. It upsets me when he carries his manuscript by his side, day by day, into my armory and gunshop, then marches into my barren office to demand that his book be published for the community to read. He doesn’t understand...bookshops and libraries, all swept away with the wind. Since the Demolition War all anyone wanted to do was take part in war. This war would take place in cities, and in homes...havoc enveloped our everyday lives. Nowadays, to kill would be for the thirst of blood.

This path we are taking...I just don’t know if there is light awaiting us in the horizon. It is clear to see the thirst in the eyes of many...the constant fire for murder and unjust actions makes up the outer layer of their hearts. I do feel that I myself have not completely strayed from the days when one could curl up in a rocking chair beside a blazing fire and read a novel. I remember when the building in which I run my gun store was instead a publishing company. But the part most vivid in my memory remains as the final day before the publishing company was to be replaced by my store, “Lora’s Firearms and Protective Gear."

 Yes, that was the day S.Z Write first carried his novel into my office as I was clearing out the last of the previous owner’s junk. That was truly the end of it...nothing but darkness since. To say I haven’t taken part in any of it would be a complete and utter lie. But I do like to think that all of who I truly am has not ceased. S.Z views the world as devoid of color and excitement. A black and white photograph of a demolished world. I know this because he tells me every day. I really believe that without his constant blathering about how the world needs art and beautiful literature to restore the peace there once was, I would be no different than the rest: obsessed and neglective. I would always ask him to stop coming with his novel and return to life. I would tell him to accept life for what it was...that he was wasting his life away with a hopeless dream. But secretly, somewhere within me, I did enjoy his presence. He gave me a sense that there was still some good in this world.

I never have read his writing. I don’t want to get trapped in the old world. Times have changed, and that’s the way it is. But honestly, I’ve got no place to be, no purpose. What really is the true purpose of life, in anyone's perspective? Well, all I know is I can’t see anything in this abyss. The walls are slimy and disgusting. The visible sky above is misty and gray. At the bottom, nothing to be found but my own death. And I’m in the middle of it all. In a more realistic view of it, I don’t see a happy ending to any path I take. The world is in ruin and devoid of hope. But...is it really? S.Z, I hope you have an answer. -Journal Entry 1, October 5, 2101

Author's Note

Thanks for reading! This is in fact an introduction to a novel. Haha...I'm working on several new ideas at once. Thank you for your time, have a great day.

Reviews

[Mister_Sir]

You established an excellent background for this world. As such, it was easy for me to not only picture the condition of the narrator here, but also a conceptualization of the world's urban and cultural decay. What I really appreciated was how the passage reminded me of 1984 and Fahrenheit 451. Obviously, it was the rotten bleakness that reminded me of the former, and it was the devaluation of literature and art that reminded me of Fahrenheit 451. I like how you began your presentation of the story here in the form of a journal entry, because the first person perspective allows for a more authentic perception of both the narrator's thoughts and his interactions with the outside world, which, of course, I assume will be made more intense and weighty as the story continues. Another thing that I like is that, even though this passage gives off the aura of being science fiction and dystopia, it does not seem as though it will be dominated primarily by an exploitation of those aspects for the sake of plot, like most genre is. Rather, I can tell that, like the aforementioned novels, it appears as though there is a strong probability that there will be a large emphasis on characterization. And I hope hat you will mix some more philosophy in there too. Furthermore, if you could provide a well-thought balance between plot and characterization and thereby establish a mature character and story base, then the novel will have reached an excellent level of maturity. Also, I really like the name S.Z Write; it sounds like a completely real name. I really appreciate that, because there is an exercise that I like to do in which I try to think of names that sound as though they are real. I have come up with several, but I have only used a few thus far in a story which I am still finishing.
As for technical suggestions, I had a few. First, I thought that the following phrases were cliché: “light awaiting us in the horizon,” “thirst in the eyes of many,” “Times have changed,” and “And I'm in the middle of it all.” I definitely suggest changing those phrases. Also, I thought that “slimy and disgusting” in the last paragraph sounded too immature for the established voice of the narrative thus far. And lastly, in the first sentence of the last paragraph, I think that “I have never read his writing” would sound better than “I never have read his writing.” So, that is pretty much all I have to say for this one. I apologize for taking so long to review. I already informed you about my situation. Nonetheless, I will try to get to at least one chapter from this piece per week.

Neurotically yours,
Mister Splitbrain

[Stars and Whales]

I appreciate that! Great critique! This is helpful; I will use advice to the best of my ability :)

[Pash]

I applaud your work already. Allot of potential here to build an epic story. The foundation is laid out well and I can't wait to read more, Keep on creating!
DB.

[Stars and Whales]

Thank you :)

[NateBriggs]

Here's the executive summary for this chapter:

1) Hard to imagine why anyone would keep reading. People are looking for reasons to cheer up—not get more depressed.

2) Seriously overwritten: to the point where it's hard to understand what's going on. A writer has a book, and he wants someone to publish it. But she's not a publisher, and doesn't want to do it. And we need 600 words to explain that. And also the fact that there's been yet another apocalyptic war.

3) I think a film producer looking at this would say: "Show...don't tell". There's very little shown in this long monologue. Just a mood of unrelieved bleakness: which would probably persuade most readers to close the book and put it back on the shelf.

[Stars and Whales]

well thanks for your honest opinion! Not all books are cheery and super positive, though. Just keep that in mind. Thanks a lot for your time.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good introduction. You create strong characters and story line. I liked the personal feel to the story. Thank you for sharing the excellent introduction.
Coyote

[Stars and Whales]

Thank you!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Cherrie Palmer]

you have done a good job in making the reader ask questions, and this is what keep pages turning.

[Nila M.]

Great introduction. I feel the sadness and bleakness of the world the narrator lives in, and also his lack of hope that it will ever change. Although we aren't quite at that point I can relate to a lot of the feelings here. I think you did a good job at conveying kind of the emotional apathy. I look forward to reading the following chapters.

[Stars and Whales]

Thanks so much!

[AaronFreitas]

This is an awesome start... very good introduction to the story. Left the reader thinking ahead to what is coming :)

[Lizardo]

Sorry for reviewing late after you send me the message, there is a lot going on with school hahaha. Okay on to the story: You started off really good, I enjoyed your descriptions, I actually wanted to keep reading more from the introduction, but you kept it like a short fragment for the reader to be "catch" and go on to chapter one. I like your descriptions and I can relate to S.Z, I like how you added that intriguing character in the story, it's maybe the character that we can all relate to you know? We want good stuff but the world around us doesn't let us move forward, oh yes, I am really going to keep reading this book. Awesome start, really, you did a great job with the start, I will be hoping to read more and for you to keep writing more and better for the book to get interesting, as for right now, you've gotten my attention.
Great start.

[Stars and Whales]

Thanks! That means a lot!

[Kaylee April]

This is a fantastic start. I like that your narrator is a skeptic. I think that makes things interesting. I absolutely love the farenheit 451 feel in this and i'm sure that you will make it a unique story. I look forward to reading more!

[Calibaster]

Good hook, but a little on the ambiguous side, if you know what I mean. I'm just not entirely clear on what going on in this, but get the feeling that that's how you wanted it to be, and if I'm correct in that assumption, then great job. It's a journal entry that seems to be a sort of letter at the same time, and now I'm intrigued as to who it's written for.
There were no obvious mistakes, and any other ones could be easily found by reading it to yourself out loud, and going backwards through the story sentence by sentence.
Well done, I'm going to continue now.

[Stars and Whales]

Thanks! I really appreciate that! And yes, that was intended... :)

[Calibaster]

I'm glad. Well done.

[Charles Stewart]

this sounds fantastic you are a brilliant writer :) I enjoyed reading this

[Stars and Whales]

Thanks Charles!