I lived

Short story

My name is Wilton Steen, and I hate you. Why do I hate you? Don't take it personally, I hate everyone. I am isolated, completely withdrawn and forgotten by society.  I’ve been in a constant struggle my whole life, no matter what.

But I've decided that I don't care anymore. I'm giving my life to wickedness and evil. I'd rather live that way while avoiding stress than try to fix my life under pressure. Nowadays, whatever money I manage is immediately spent on cigarettes and alcohol, because, in my opinion, that's what really matters.

The murder of my parents before my eyes, of my own doing, made me feel like I'd never again see the light. I was 15 when I set fire to my parent's bedroom and took off to live on my own. Living alone my teenage years, I wept for days, cursing my life for what it was, and there was a growing evil inside of me as well. Thievery became a habit.

Now, someone once close to me deserves death in my eyes. Actually, let me rephrase that. Everyone deserves death in my eyes. When I walk the streets, people stare at me as if I'm a monster. Every single day, I hear people muttering to each other, "Look at that damn hobo."

Children look up at their parents, frightened as they pass me by. "Mommy, he's soo scary." they say. Well, guess what, sweetheart! You want to see scary, I'll damn give you scary!

That's why they all need to die. I will confess it to the entire world if I have to! I hate them! They're animals, every last one of them!

But, now, back to that particular someone. This person is different. He's dead to me. He's mine to kill, and mine alone. My brother, Don, is responsible for demeaning me beyond comprehension in my teenage years by forcing me into a jockstrap during physical education, causing my virtual nudity to be transparent to hundreds of my male classmates.

I've really been thinking a lot about him lately, and what he did to me oh so many years ago. Obsessing about it, even. It's time for me to finish it once and for all.

~

 

The deed is done. Don is dead. I put a gun to his throat last night. He was alone in bed, and I sat there in his room, for many hours as he slept. Finally, I let my worries subside and pulled the trigger on him. I don't regret it one bit. 

One of the neighbors reported seeing me leave Don's home after the gunshot last night. I found a newspaper blowing around town, and I grabbed it to have a look. I made the headlines, and I think now it's only a matter of time before I'm suspected. The lady who reported me to the police described me as, "...a hideous man who looks exactly like what you would imagine a psychopathic murderer to look like..." Well, miss, you might just be next on my damn bucket list!

~

 

Just as I feared, the police caught sight of me today, and took me in for questioning. "Wilton Steen. Where were you on the night your brother was killed?"

Many things ran through my mind in that moment. A flashback echoed in my brain. The exact same question was asked to me that night my parents were killed. I told them I had nothing to do with it. That I returned home the next day to find my house burned to ashes. Now, I feel nauseous from the question, and I can feel sweat tickling my forehead.

"I killed my brother. He is dead, because of me. I confess, I am responsible, but I do not confess to you because it was wrong. No, no. I confess to you because I was right."

I was sentenced by jury to life in prison, but still no tinge of regret will find it's way into my mind. As I am escorted by two guards to the cell where I am to spend the rest of my life, I laugh maniacally, knowing where my destiny lies. I wait as one of the guards removes my handcuffs. When I hear the click, I grin devilishly, then slug the guard in the face, sending him to the ground. The second guard draws his gun, it's muzzle following me as I walk over to the other, unconscious guard.

"Listen, b***h, your gun doesn't sway me..." I laugh as I grab the unconscious guard's gun. The instant I pull it from his scabbard, the second guard shoots me in the leg. I fall to the ground, the gun still in my grasp. Through the pain, I squeeze out these words. "I...don't...give...a...crap. I lived. Yes...I...truly...lived. Nobody...understands...me! I lived! No one else...can...say the same. My...life...was great. My...hatred...was used...for the greater good. I...lived. Say...goodbye...a******s..."

I put the gun to my head and pull the trigger with a smile. I see the world disappear, and then darkness.....ignites.

 

Reviews

[M. Black]

great read :) I would advise that you draw on the moment a bit more though; he's angry at his brother for humiliating him but his hatred is expressed kind of matter-of-fact, I didn't really feel the emotion.
that being said though, I enjoyed the story, especially the opening paragraph; it really drew me in. :)

[Stars and Whales]

How would you suggest I make it more emotional? Thanks.

[M. Black]

maybe describe the embarrassment he felt in front of his classmates, how it hurt him that his brother would do that to him, and how those feelings eventually made him snap.
hope it helps :)

[Stars and Whales]

Thanks for the help! I will consider everything!

[AMMD]

Nice foundation. Taken an interest in psychopathy myself of late and would love to see the character and story drawn out of his/its shadowy shell. Good work

[Alucard6336]

Not bad, isolation is something that has good and bad. Stay away from the idiots in the world, but the mind slips into altered conscious.

I wish people would see many people are the same. It's when we deny ourselves that true problems arise.

I don't see anything wrong with this one, wouldn't change a thing. I'll look at more of your stuff later....I have to add to my blog over on blogger tonight. :)

[Stars and Whales]

:) Thank you...Good luck!

[Cecile Wonder]

This is great. I would love to have seen the guy live though. You really know how to draw someone in.

[Taylor]

Goodness, it feels like evil has been personified. You've done a good job of creating a character without describing him -- I feel as though I've encountered his soul. Technically, I wonder whether it's a problem that this is written from his perspective after he has died. Maybe if you switched it to diary entries with an epilogue at the end? I don't know whether it's an issue for anyone else -- just occurred to me.

[Stars and Whales]

Haha good point. ill see

[Bluefire]

Wow, I thought he's get away. Crazy thing is, I was kind of rooting for him.
Nice write!

[AshGrey]

The insane character is well expressed. I liked how the story started off with the first sentence. Good one.

[Melliflower]

Oh my lord... this piece is so luring. I want to keep reading more. I want to know how the darkness felt. How it devoured him. I want more... this is a beautiful piece of writing!

[Stars and Whales]

If you'd like to check out some of my better work, do my most recent post! Thank you so much! I have left a review for you by the way!

[h d e rushin]

very dark but intriguing. How despair and loneliness can drag a person to low's unimaginable.
But reading it you realize that there is this sense of hope that the sane reader always has
towards the actions of the habitually demonic. What I mean is that "I lived" is a testament
to wanting to, in-spite of all that has happened.

Like the man who kills his wife and family in a murder suicide, one always says, why not just
kill yourself and save other precious lives the agony of murder. So my question is rhetorical here;
why does a suicide come at the end of such recklessness? It is because we love to read of
dangerous people doing dangerous things. It sells newspapers and encourages strangers to
read about it.

I love a good murder mystery although there was no mystery here. And I love a good suspense
novel, although there was little suspense. Which means I might love a good train wreck every now and then..

interesting work my friend...dana

[Stars and Whales]

This wasn't my best work :) I would suggest you read "Through Voids of Darkness," or "Burn," or "One Man's Soul," by me, if you have time. Thank you so much!

[M.E.Lyle]

Wow, you take us deep into the mind of a disturbed person. You can almost feel the hatred. I pray the character is not the description of its writer.
This one holds your attention, demands your attention.
Very dark.

[Stars and Whales]

Haha I'm not dark at all :) Thank you.

[Philip Muls]

Straightforward and brutal. Makes you hope you will not meet the main character as he is full of hate for the world.

I agree with the previous reviewer that the story could benefit from a deepening of the humiliation event. This clearly is the trigger to what happened later.

Powerful writing.

Could you review me ?