My prerogative; to be young is to be listless, is to be high

A Poem by Sam Smith

“Come and get your haircut every 6 weeks” the hairdresser said

It’s too much pressure, too much pressure

“Make sure you keep a diary of everything you drink, whatever you do, keep a diary of how much you drink”

It’s too much pressure, too much pressure

“Have one black coffee and five portions of fruit, a glass of red wine and even more fresh fruit”

It’s too much pressure, too much pressure

“Check the oil once a week and the tyre pressure too, spring clean your fridge, the credit card is due”

It’s too much pressure, too much pressure

“Write down all of your thoughts and feelings, the negative ones too, and whatever you do, find time for just one book”

It’s too much pressure, too much pressure

“It’s imperative that you moisturise the skin on your face daily, I’m sorry but I can’t help you unless you follow this routine religiously”

It’s too much pressure, too much pressure

“IF YOU’D HAVE RINSED YOUR PLATE STRAIGHT AFTER YOU ATE THEN THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED”

It’s too much pressure, too much pressure

“You should never clean your ears, especially when they smell”

They say a job well done can only be done well, but

It’s too much pressure, too much pressure

“When was the last time you dealt with this issue?”

The man on the phone did pry

They’ll come and turn your water off when the pressure gets too much

“Stop consuming dairy to supplement your lack of meat, c’mon, thats easy too”

If its in the realm of capability then it must be easy to do

With the pressure always building, find peace is all I want to do

Unplug the hairdryer, unblock the drains, wash your jeans inside out and colour they’ll sustain, a cup of bicarbonate soda will hide a multitude of stains.

Defrag the hard drive, iron your clothes, move your money around so you’ll be secure when you are old. “Put soap on your pans and you’ll ruin them, look! Even with such a simple job, I can’t entrust you, look”

How could I ever find the time? It’s too much pressure, the pressure’s too much

Looks like it’s time to get a haircut