eleven

eleven

                                                       
He forces the mortality
of his ego
into my shaking hands.
and I cant help
resenting it.
So big, and strong,
while mine is lacy
and delicate.
Easily stained.

I’m to proud to beg
for something that was doomed
from the beginning.
He begs.
and his ego shrinks in my fingers,
along with the respect id formerly held so high
and in such esteem.
despite the multiple warnings
of various traumatized walls
I gave him
at the very first kiss.
I gave fair warning.

I have enough sadness to hold me
for the rest of my life.
god forgive me
for allowing the water
to sweep over my head.