ohhhh honey....

 

ohhhh, honey...

my armor lays on the forest floor. with the leaves, and the moss. i am sitting cross legged. eyes wide with loss. with grief. naked, i hold myself out to you through them. I HOLD MYSELF OUT TO YOU HONEY! cant you see the trail of tears to my heart? ive uncovered it. only for you. cant you see me shaking with cold? my hands are trembling, as i hold myself together. each breath a prayer youll find me here. i pray i wont die like this. alone in the woods. fragile leaves cling to my tangles, brittle, almost dead... these hot tears wont warm me. and this black velvet is, just this cloak i pull around my mind so i wont feel you. but you're still there. i know you are. i wish i hadnt been blessed with this knowledge. i wish you would just walk into the clearing, and hold me. kiss my tears away, run your hands up and down my arms to warm me. i just want to lay my head on your shoulder, and sleep. i want to kiss you softly on the cheek, and let my love rest on your heart like a blanket. i wish i didnt know. damn it. there is a freedom, that comes with oblivion. a freedom with ignorance. but i dont have that. i have just this cold knowledge you exist. picking me apart every day. come home darling. let me kiss away the fear. please...let me wrap my arms, my mind round yours, protecting it. i cant exist this way much longer. the goddess cannot exist without the god...so i pull my knees up to my chest. i exploit my vulnerability to the sky. i whisper to the soil. i water the trees with my fertile tears....and just wait. please...i beg the wind....please?! as my heart explodes with longing, with want...i beg for the mind that matches mine... i beg for truth. i beg for forgiveness, and warmth...for understanding. but you are nowhere, and everywhere at the same damn time. so i drown myself in this amber pool. i drown myself in soft velvet, the only comfort, amidst this desolet grass. my breath will rock you, like the wind, and my heart will chirp like crickets, a path home for my love... please baby...