Mania and Mangos

Woke up with a smile on my face, it’s going to be a beautiful day.

I feel proud, when I talk with my friends I’m loud

I’m a live wire, I’m electrified.

I cleaned my room today,

I ate a healthy lunch, mangos and grapes

Later I had a hunch, that I shouldn’t pick up another cigarette so I threw them away. 

Even later I fell asleep with the bottle of whiskey I downed, beer spilled all over the ground. 

Thinking twice isn’t an option, I’ll end up alright. I'll need diazepam to end my night. 

Got into a fight with the next morning with my boyfriend, left him, said I didn’t need him.

Screamed at the sky for him to go away, it’s still a beautiful day. 

I know this feeling won’t stay, for now I’m just doing things my own way. 

I’m going to go back to sleeping on a bed that’s broken in a broken home, 

My curtains will smell of smoke.

Everything I built will turn to ash and soot, and when I’m the car with my friend’s I’ll nuzzle into my jacket and keep my mouth shut. 

Woke up in a miserable daze, the world is such a cruel god forsaken place. 

Catatonic twenty four hours, how unproductive. 

I’m a piece of s**t. Everything is s**t.

For now I’ll enjoy my mangos. I’ll savor the sweet juice.