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Unsatisfied

A Story by samanthaashley_

I hate being angry. I hate feeling stupid and crazy and out of control. And the worst part is that I know I do this to myself. I quantify my self-worth with a number circled in red pen or the number on a scale. I judge my achievements by measuring how many acronyms I can memorize or how close I am to death.
I try to believe that none of this matters. I am living with a false sense of security that disappears without notice. Self-doubt fills the vacancy in my mind without hesitation. I start to think that a pill would make all of these feelings go away, but that thought scares me. I moved 820 miles away to escape that part of my past, yet I find myself going back home for comfort. My life doesn't even make sense to me. Regardless of the mess of feelings I am experiencing, "I'm great" seems to answer every question thrown my way, simply out of habit. I can only be honest with a pen and paper.

© 2015 samanthaashley_


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Thoughts and emotions stuck in the head can be louder than a roaring crowd. I can definitely identify with the feeling. Brave of you to capture with words and share this with everyone, great bit of writing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Now this is a descriptive piece with teeth. Scary part of a valid self-awareness is you DON'T get away from your self - no matter how hard you try.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

samanthaashley_

9 Years Ago

PREACH haha
This comment has been deleted by this stories author.
It is easy to see the faults in others.
More difficult, almost impossible to see the
special in ourselves. Having admitted that
we are o.k. then we find very special people,
like you, then we are at a loss for words to praise
those very special people for ---- how great thou are.
---- Eagle Cruagh

Posted 9 Years Ago


Don't worry dear, sometimes time come in our life when we think like that.....
Although your last line tell everything about you #Writer

Posted 9 Years Ago


"I can only be honest with a pen and paper."
I can totally relate to that line, like I'm sure many other writers can.
I'm sorry to hear you feel this way.
Good work here though, very honest and expressively heartfelt.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is a very honest and deep write my friend... I loved it! Loved the passion, loved the honesty behind these words. Great job :)

Posted 9 Years Ago



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313 Views
6 Reviews
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Added on May 5, 2015
Last Updated on May 5, 2015

Author

samanthaashley_
samanthaashley_

Nashville, TN



About
I'm stuck in a world where I can't figure out CAPTCHA but I can understand neuroscience. more..

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