Nightmares

I stood at the edge of a cliff

One that looks the way I imagine they do in Capetown

So beautiful

I wasn't afraid, though I was alone

And I stared into the sky above

My eyes pierced the parallel ocean below

And my cliff seemed to separate the two places you could be.

I screamed your name

Waiting for you to answer the echo

I waited

As if there was a chance you really would answer

I fell hard on my knees

And they should have shattered

I cried until I couldn't anymore

I cursed your name because I resented you

And I cursed your name because I was jealous of you

I wondered what it would be like to jump into the ocean

Alone.

I wondered what it would be like to see you waiting for me at the bottom

And this is why I don't like to sleep.

Reviews

[fattycbreezy52]

It's as if a depressed,tormented soul was speaking.What as if?It was.It's like you try hard to close your watery eyes and transport yourself to a world of temporary happiness for a while where atleast he will be whatever you would expect him to be.Alas!you cannot sleep.All you could experience is weltering, side by side and murmuring to yourself,
"Feelings die and go to your grave...die ,die die and never come back again"

[samanthaashley_]

Love the comment. Thanks so much!

[elynne]

This is well done. You did a good job of writing about a complex feeling with brevity while still giving the subject that attention it deserves! I also loved the last line. It was such a concise fitting ending.

[samanthaashley_]

thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

[Nethajhi Kamal]

deep words !! great work :)

[samanthaashley_]

thank you!!

[Jeyanthi]

It was very beautifully written, the last sentence took me over. :)

(two years before i enjoyed being at the top of the cliff, calling over two many crazy things/names.... but not surely nightmare) :P

[samanthaashley_]

thank you! I was hesitant about the last line.. I thought about possibly putting it somewhere else, so I appreciate the comment.

[Jeyanthi]

Ya, welcome. (but i find it reasonable.)

[Allison Knapp]

Wow I loved it! So vivid and relatable. I'm sure everyone has experienced that kind of frustration and desperation with a loved one in their lives

[samanthaashley_]

Thank you for the comment. I'm glad you can relate!

[Shawna]

wow, wonderful. Both beautiful and heart breaking at the same time. It paints a picture and elicits emotion. Talking of the anger, pain, loneliness, and longing that comes from losing a loved one.

[samanthaashley_]

thank you for reading, I'm glad you liked it!

[~]

Ohh.. with nightmares like this.. none will want to go to sleep.. you've described the aching of a love gone missing very well.

[samanthaashley_]

thank you so much!

[Justin McMahon]

Poetry is not my area of expertise, so I do not have much in the way of constructive criticism, but I enjoyed reading it very much!

[samanthaashley_]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. if you liked it enough, would you mind voting for me in this poetry contest? It's my first one :)

http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Poetry-Part-2/51290/

[Justin McMahon]

Certainly!

[samanthaashley_]

thanks so much! let me know if I can ever return the favor

[Justin McMahon]

You're quite welcome! I would greatly appreciate it if you would review the piece I posted recently.

[samanthaashley_]

absolutely!

[Brittany Zedalis]

This reminded me of some of the nightmares I've had this past year. I love that you wrote it in a way that one could assume this was a real occurrence until they reach that final line. Great work.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

sad.............depressing.............yet beautiful..........serene.........just like calm before the storm.........
fear of loneliness is bad...........could make one crazy..........and obviously loneliness is worst.......nightmare is perfect.
i love your language,.....effortless simple and profound.........
amazing poem......
i loved it!!!
:)