what a shame....

what a shame....

A Chapter by LetiStoned

"Baby! I love you soo much! I'll take good care of you I'll hold  you as if you were mine! Which you are and I'll make sure that I'll treat you as a piece of glass! I love you baby!"he said.

"Awwh baby thank you! I didn't think you'll ever say that!" I replied.

"Why not baby? Your mine! We've been together for two years" he gave me a kiss and hugged me so hard that I knew that he really loved me.

The next day we went for a walk until he almost broke his neck for only checking out his ex-girlfriend's a*s.

"Baby what are you looking at?" I asked.

"Nothing! Danm!"

"I'm sorry baby! Please don't get mad! I love you!" I said so stupidly.

"Hmm. . . . " the next day he took me to a resteraunt. Once we got there i had to use the bathroom. When I came back he was talking to the same ex-girlfreind he was before.

"who was that?" I asked as if I didn't know.

"Veronica."he replied.

"Oh. . . what were you guys talking about?"all I did was close my eyes for one second and I feel as if I didn't know who he was.

"B**** Why you gotta think I'm always flirting with someone!! Did you think  that i was flirting with her?

I paused.

"You did! I give you everything and you think that after everything we've been threw im going to throw it all away?!?!"

"No baby. . . "

"Watever!" he lefted the resteraunt leaving me there as if he threw out the garbage.

"Ashley! Don't cry! don't cry!"I repeated in my head.

"Are you ready to order?" the waiter asked.

"Hm? Oo yeah I'm about to leave. Here's a tip for all the trouble." I lefted him a 5 dollar tip.

"Thank you! Mam. Please come again."

"No thank you." I left the resteraunt. Once I got home I found him siiting on the couch and everything all packed up.

"Your leaving?"

"Yup!"

"ok!" I was half way through the hallway into my room until.

"Give it!"

"What?"

"Give me my promise ring! Give it! Give it to me now!!!" he yelled so hard that I jumped. I threw the ring at him. Once he caught it left through the door.



© 2009 LetiStoned


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Reviews

Personally I think you use the word baby too much... I doesnt really flow that well. But you do have a good idea going. I would keep working on it... You also need to elaborate on the emotion.... I needs a lot of work but I think you can pull it off with a lot of editing.... Good luck! :)

Would you mind reviewing mine?

Posted 14 Years Ago


I love this story!
I can't wait untill you add a chapter !!!

Posted 15 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 31, 2009
Last Updated on November 1, 2009


Author

LetiStoned
LetiStoned

Linden, NJ



About
- Myspace Comments - Myspace Comments - Myspace Comments hi im LATNIA don't hate!! XD Well wat can i say im 13. im salvadorian!! i ptroud of who i am!! i luv my boo.. more..

Writing
The talk. The talk.

A Chapter by LetiStoned