Dear Starlet.. ( The First Letter )

Dear Starlet,

 

It’s been a while since I last wrote to you. I feel as if you never left as I spend countless hours looking at old pictures of us. I hope you’re well.

 

I tried to bring myself to stop this habit of bothering you with my nostalgic thoughts, but I fail every time as the sight of a pen and a paper always pushes me to write you. I remember the last few words that came out of your mouth as they came like a bullet that hit me so fast in the head ripping every hope of being the same again. “We can remain friends “you said. Now it’s clear to both you and myself how my acceptance and agreement were only desperate acts of hanging on to a past we both had a hand in turning into the reason of our torment, or at least mine. I should have screamed and yelled I should have made you tell me that you don’t want to hear from me ever again. But you were always kind enough to handle my insecurities with gentleness unlike any I have ever seen. I guess it was my mistake to count on that.

 

I’ve been thinking, should I go on with my plan as I used to tell you I would? Remember the cafe? You always smiled whenever I told you about it; you would have loved to see it come to life. I still have the scrap book with all the fabrics and pictures for it specially those you got me. I loved it whenever you got me a new piece. You made me feel like I made sense for once in my life; you always had faith in me. Blackie speaks a lot of your passion for my dreams; he never lets me forget what losing you meant. “Shame you had to lose her like that. I guess you’re not strong enough to be her man after all” yes same old Blackie with his straight forward, outspoken, over honest comments but you know him, he always cares in his own twisted way of understanding love. He sends his regards and wishes you well.

 

I guess for now I can’t say much, I’m worn out since I’ve been roaming all day as I have done for a while now. It’s never easy you know, but it was easier when you were around. I shall write some more soon, I promise. Hope you re well, hope you’re in joy, hope you find your calling, hope you smile a lot, hope you remember the goodness I had, hope you remember the greatness you hold. Hope you stay forever young.

 

 

Yours truly,

Dreamer