A walk in the woods

Most days I go to the local woods I love to walk around seeing what's new , sometimes I even stop there before I go to work just to put food out for the birds, squirrels and whatever else comes by. I like to take photos of them too. I was inspired to writ

Went for a walk in the woods today
First thing I saw was a beautiful Jay
A quick  flash of blue
And then away it flew

Next I saw something yellow
it was a Brimstone being mellow
Fluttering by and up to the sky
I didn't even get to say Hi

I heard it sing with puffed out chest
then I saw the red of it's breast
A robin on the branch above me
sweetly singing for all to see

High above I heard a rustle
I wondered what was all the bustle
It was then I saw a blur of white
A woodpecker was in my sight

All of a sudden something grey,
Something else to see today
A squirrel gathering nuts to hide
There it goes, over to my left side

Went for a walk in the woods today
Plenty to see any time of the day
The sun is down now,  out of sight
I leave the woods and say goodnight

Sally Edwards
01/04/2008

Reviews

[Rockebah]

I love the poem. It was very good. It has good rhythum and rhyme and the imagery was brilliant. But the thing that really caught my attention was the colour scheme. The idea of putting each stanza in the colour mentioned about in it was good. Once again I enjoyed reading this poem alot. I am inspired by your words.

[Giovanni]

i love your poem i wish i could have such an amazing talent take care greetings from brooklyn new york

[Enigma]

Wow. So beautiful. Takes the reader with you into those beautiful woods and their eyes follow yours to capture all these wonderful sights of nature. Amazing poem! :)

[dev]

one word..*inspiring*..

[{someone:.:unknown}]

it makes me want to go to the woods~ haha i wanna see the birds and the squirrels~

[Alisha Mark]

My first comment - why the color difference? It makes it stand out, but it's always going to distract me the entire time I read your piece because I may not understand why each individual color is picked and why it is chosen. Second comment (before a read through), the four sentence stanza structure is very easy to stick to, but I presume that one can go above and beyond and create a unique front. Okay, so the color thing makes sense. "I didn't even get to say hi" -- too much pressure on the author to rhyme. Awkward gap in syllables. Forgot an "a" on stanza 3, first sentence. Too many words: "A woodpecker was in my sight." I think it would more simplified, better, if it stood alone as "a woodpecker, in my sight." Same with "over to my left side." And same with "The sun is down now." I think you have a great concept. There's a few grammatical comma's and periods missing, but it's preferred by style, of course. Look forward to another.

[Scarlet Pulse]

I can definitely relate. I'm from the city, and every now and then I get to go upstate NY. The woods are an amazing place to be and amazing things within.
Your poem is very cute. You use great imagery, which makes the reader feel and see wxactly what you are describing. I liked it a lot.

[White Rose]

Nice beat and rhyme. I love how you can see what you read and I can with this. Good Job! Keep it up!

[E. A. Fielder]

This reminds me so much of a poem my mom wrote for me when I was little. It was titled "My new friends in the woods." I really liked you poem. It had a very nice flow but I think your rhyming scheme is a little simplistic. I do like your writing though! keep it up!

[Leah]

I like the color differentiation per stanza. This offers more of a visual, as if your words alone weren't enough. I like the imagery here, and the rhyme scheme is simple, but it flows very nicely with this natural poem.

[Stephie204]

very beautiful! I love nature poems :]