Betrayed

She is betrayed

That special smile

Those tender words

are no longer hers

Now she knows

He has strayed

 

It is done

Her heart hurts

Tears well up

She cannot feel

She cannot speak

She feels empty

 

He has gone

She is alone

Block it out

Put up the wall

Shut love out

She is betrayed

 

Sally Edwards

04/02/08

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

A Wonderful twining of both imagery and boldness strokes of simple words, with the absolute sorrow and sadness that comes with a man who strays from the path of loyalty. An awsome powerful work that i know i can relate to personally. Thanks for sharing

[Amor-de-angel]

You captured all that hurt and emotion in those lines. Great write.

[Brenda Sue]

Very well written. You can feel the emotion as you read. Wonderfully penned. Great job.

[Blackbirdsong]

You really do a good job of taking through the journey of a break up and the feelings of betrayal and abandonment that follow..I like the simple lines you use. It gives the whole poem an impact that it wouldn't have had if you'd done it any other way.

[None]

You really put such strong emotions into this and paint the scene so well. Every word is a gem here is so meaningful. I especially thought about your words..... "Block it out Put up the wall Shut love out
She is betrayed"....yes, what are we supposed to do with the love? You really succeed on capturing the heartbreaking feelings.

[dEj]

Very touching and painful, very firsthand.

I think this really stands out....
"Those tender words
are no longer hers"

Bravo!

[An Ordinary Woman]

How true these words are, yes this is how betrayal feels. It hurts as no other ... so painful and hard. From your words I know you know and I'm sorry...

[SweetPeachesAlways]

That special smile
Those tender words
are no longer hers

Very poignant writing...beautiful and so heartwrenching at the same time...

(and I don't think, although I have been wrong once or twice, but I don't think April of 2008 has came yet)

[R J Askew]

'She cannot feel, she cannot speak' were the lines I liked as they drive home the shock of the betrayal. An old story which springs its nastly little surprise over and over. And the pic is perfect, sadly so.

[Alexander W. Quinn]

Emotional...very sorrowful. I was drawn to the lines "Those tender words / are no longer hers". Most would concentrate on simple physical betrayal, but sometimes having the words "I love you" slip to another can be far worse than any physical act. Insightful, though sad. Thank you for sharing.

[Phil Sanders]

How sad .. and how tragically written ...