A fall morning

I wrote this poem after watching a sunrise

I hear the faint call
of the morning chorus
So I dress quickly
And creep downstairs
The morning mist
Hangs in the air
The sun is hiding,
It's dark and damp
The clouds fill the sky,
It's way too early
I wait patiently  for the sun
behind the clouds
I can't see a lot
But wait.....
the clouds thin
And I stare
Is this going to be it
Is the sun going to shine
I get ready, I wait and I sit
And then I see it
A slither of sun
A slither of light
So golden and bright
My finger is ready
I have it in sight
yes here it comes
a big golden orb
I gasp as it glows
spilling its light
The clouds were it's screen
It's beauty unfolds
casting it's beams
so beautiful and bold
I stand and watch in disbelief
as the sun disappears
The window is closing
It's time is brief
And once again
the clouds take over
with their blanket of gloom
And I know winter is coming

 

Sally Edwards

 

25/11/2007

 

 

 

Reviews

[Erin]

Another great poem! I would suggest, however, that you throw in some more punctuation -- especially question marks. :] They're my favorite things in poems, next to dashes, and I think that it would really give this poem more oomph, especially in these two lines: "Is this going to be it / Is the sun going to shine." If they both ended in question marks, I think the point would get across much stronger.

[Shadows of Sight]

Oh, I love this! I can relate! I to have waiting for the moment for the sun to come out and meet me!
For fleeting moment i smile and feeling it's morning warmth on my face!

[SweetPeachesAlways]

Beautiful! Very descriptive imagery...very visual! I love it! Thanks for sharing this!

[Nico]

I enjoy your writing Sally. Easy to read and very pleasant!!!

[Adel Eyes]

good discription it was like I could see it keep up the good work

[Wolfwind Words]

Its a simple truth in life that some of the most beautifull things are fleeting and one must grab that enjoyment when one can. This is brilliant work! I loved how it bubbled with your expectation as you waited for that right moment. I can related to the feeling that the clouds in the way of the bright sun can bare down on someone, as if ones very soul is heavier. Great job! keep up the good work!

[Phil Sanders]

Tremendous piece.. holds the reader .. beautifully written ....

[Holly Colbert]

I liked the descriptiveness of your poem, unfortuneately like many others in colder regions of the world, i'm not such a fan of winter, ;-)

~*Holly*~

"Carried away into a world of unfortold dreams, everything is something except what it seems"