my new love

i think this is bad so be honest i can take all types of commets

down in the village

in the midst of raw nude  nature

i found the fresh breeze

as a beautiful crease

of joy

the grand trees  saved me from the evil eye

of harsh sun's anger

and the small weeds pillowed my 

stressed head with the filial love

i became besotted  with

the sweet smell of wet mud

and just wanted  to caress it like a little bud

 

as i  go back to  the city

 i had to bid a farewell

for such hospitality

i promised, they 

will never be harmed

and i will be always alarmed

to save my nature

no matter how many fights i have to

indulge in

i would not let my mother

weed cry

 and let my mud to tie the knot 

with any other brutal guy

i will protect the trees as   my brother

and will let breeze flow without any eve teasing

of lusty pollution 

 

Author's Note

just read it with honesty

Reviews

[Ayush Sinha]

zyada palle to ni padi but jo b thi it was goood :)

[Penny]

Very nicely written & the message is well understood. Keep it up.

[Cassie]

Wow!! This is not bad at all, on the contrally you choose the right words, the poem is quite engrossing. Loved reading it

[sakshi arora]

thanks a ton :)

[quinfinn]

this is really good poetry! you demonstrate a gift for the metaphorical and such profound imagery as to place the reader in your scenes...well penned!

[sakshi arora]

thanks a ton :)

[quinfinn]

always welcome, dear poet

[Balkaran Sidhu]

I saw the title and was immediately attracted by it...u can tell that from my poems :p but in here...i got to read which needs a lot more concern..all in all..a good read :)

[Jack...]

I liked this. I liked the theme and the ending was wonderfully creative. Very nice poem here my friend.

[sakshi arora]

thank you for your precious words ,sir :)

[Sid]

Not bad at all, it's actually a good write apart from a few grammatical changes like "many fights" instead of "much fights" and just add an "a" before "brother" in the second last line or something. But you have done well in conveying the love for nature through your piece...good write!

[sakshi arora]

thank you n yup i noticed that silly mistake

[Uroš D. Stojanov..]

No.. it's not bad at all. Maybe the beginning was a little slow but the end had a great impact. Very well done, as usual.

[sakshi arora]

Thank you I am glad you pointed out the weakness as well thanks again

[Vikrantsingh]

I read this one with my eyes :P
Lol, this one is pretty sweet and very well narrated Sakshi.

Good Work enjoyed it!
Singh :)

[sakshi arora]

thank you i am glad you liked it

[Vikrantsingh]

Yes its better :)

[ANTO]

"..and let my mud to tie the knot
with any other brutal guy.." witty and charming...

Its strength is in its gentleness sakshi. You do get from it that the subject will be a willing soldier for mother nature with the beauty of nature as the source of the soldiers fortitude.
A veritable call to arms.

[sakshi arora]

thanks a ton :) ANTO