Rewrite history

History cannot be rewritten, but it can be viewed from different perspectives, and the perspective depends on who you are. The good sides can be highlighted or hidden depending on the box you fit into

He gave us the land we live on,
He saved everyone from drowning.
But did you know he beat his wife,
Ruining hundreds of lives?
You probably didn’t�"

his achievements overshadow that, right?

She left her family, abandoned her child,
Had countless lovers, broke every rule.
But did you know she invented the medicine
That saves your children’s lives?
You probably didn’t�"

after all, she’s a woman.
Someone else must have helped her, right?

Author's Note

I feel like this poem still lacks something and seems incomplete. Should I leave it as it is, or should I try adding a few more stanzas? What do you guys think?

Reviews

[LisaCarol]

Hi Sailesh - Thank you for sharing this poem. It is very provocative and makes the reader think. No human is perfect, we all make mistakes. This poem reminds us of this dichotomy. I think it is fine as it is, but if you feel you want to add more stanzas, it will be even more powerful. Great work!

[sailesh]

Thank you for your thoughtful review! The purpose of my poetry was to highlight how people often overlook the wrongdoings of men, focusing only on their achievements. But when it comes to women, every time I talk about their accomplishments, there’s always someone who objects, saying, "But she was a horrible person because she did..."

I feel like adding a few more paragraphs could help convey my message more clearly. The first two stanzas could serve as examples of this double standard, and in a couple more stanzas, I could further explain the point I’m trying to make.

[LisaCarol]

I’d agree that if you added more stanzas where men are applauded and women disparaged, it will convey the message you are trying to make.

[sailesh]

Yes I was thinking about that, Thank you so much

[NelliKong]

I like that you left the poem open ended in a sense; it gives the reader a chance to set back and come up with their own thoughts in perception. It gives the reader a chance to insert themselves into your art which makes it feel familiar

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I teach my kids perspective and that reality is never one sided but to use rational thought to determine the facts along a timeline of events. There are often aggravating or mitigating circumstances just as there are in any trial of justice. We must own the bad with the good in history and try to learn from the mistakes of the past so they are not repeated in the future. Your point is clearly made here. And I think it stands fine just as it is.

[Inkspire]

A thought provoking poem
I love how both the stanza are contrasting and it has a open ending which just leave us to think.

[ashley]

in response to your authors note, i feel like this poem is best left untouched, it leaves a mystery, but almost a rhetorical question type of mystery. i love this poem, it feels open, it feels soren & raw. its heavy to carry, and it makes you think. beautifully written, as always

[Betty Hermelee]

We have to carefully weigh the good and the bad in a human being....it can be very personal... it would be wonderful if such a person could have a happy and joyous background , be able to communicate well and be kind...but that doesn't always work...it's complex.. and we are all unique....just because someone invented the polio vaccine doesn't mean this person is likeable, has many faults... this would be a great discussion on the changes history has offered us...and changed our perspectives on humanity... Nice Write
Warmly, B

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

I love this poem. It powerfully explores the complexities of morality and how society judges people especially women just because of their gender. The contrast between praise and condemnation is striking, forcing the reader to question double standards. The direct, almost confrontational tone makes it especially impactful. This is a wonderfully written and thought-provoking piece. As your title states, we must rewrite history!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I enjoyed your poem Sailesh. It really speaks to historical perspective. Some of the people who had profoundly changed humanity in ways may have had their faults and imperfections. Some may have just been of bad character all together. One of my favorite writers is H.P. Lovecraft who is known for a sub genre in horror, yet despite his literary contribution he was a known racist. It's not always easy reconciling the person from their deed or charity gifted to humanity. To separate the flawed person from the art they created. In the end I feel it is up to us to determine the true value of the gift vs where it may have come from. If it changes the direction of our lives or its impact then it has a level of worth. Thank you for sharing your poem with us.

[JayG]

• He gave us the land we live on, He saved everyone from drowning.

Perhaps, were I to live where you do, this would be meaningful. But because you provide no context, as a reader: Because someone unidentified gave an unspecified “us” an unknown amount of land in an unknown place, for unknown reasons, they didn’t drown when something unknown happened?

What can this mean to a reader who lacks the context that the words call up from your mind when you read?

• But did you know he beat his wife, Ruining hundreds of lives?

So, this unknown person, in acts unrelated to saving the unknown “us” from drowning, “beat” his wife? Often? Once? With justification or for fun? You know. The wife certainly knows. But the reader? To them you might mean that he beat her to the dinner table, in a race, or...

And how does what happened between him and his wife ruin anyone’s life but hers?

Context, context, context. Without it, the reader has only words in a row, meaning unknown.

Sorry my news isn’t better, but, you did ask.

[John the Baptist]

I think the two examples are sufficient. You might attach an encapsulating verse that reinforces the fact that history can be interpreted in different ways.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

This makes perfect sense...men seem to have those skeletons that show up to everyone's surprise...who would have expected these heroes have dark shadows...and if a woman does something heroic...why is that questioned? because of gender? of race?
The main thing to remember is that even heroes have human sides with flaws.
j.