Fake—Love letters

This poem will walk you through stages of my previous relationship and the stages of grief that came when the relationship ended, the longing, the pain, and eventually the loathing.

The flowers that you gave me died

But I still keep it in between the book you liked

The necklace that you gave me tarnished

But I still wear it as if it were gold

The chocolates that you gave me melted   

and yet I never ate it

Cause that’s all I had of you

 

 

The love you had for me faded

But I still cherish it as if it were brand new

As if you never colored me blue

The letters that you gave me started feeling like mere words

Yet I read them every night

Make myself think that you’re still mine 

That these letters actually mean something

Just like when you first gave them to me

 

My scarlet lips that you liked Well the cold days turned it pale

The sweet smile you said you always liked Wrinkles made them weird

Is that why the flowers died? 

Is that why you started to lie?

Cause you couldn’t bear looking at me anymore? 

The guy I was a year ago, well he changed

But still misses you somehow

And reads your letters every goddamn night

 

 

 

The cold days have gone

And the deep red of my lips is back

I stopped laughing cause I had no reason to

So the wrinkles too are gone

Do you want me now?

Now that I am no longer what you loathed 

Now that I am no longer what you tolerated

Now that I am the idea of me that you actually liked

 

 

 

Will you give me roses again?

The flowers I always thought were so cliché and never liked

I remember telling you that

Yet you bought me roses anyways, I kept it

For it was your sign of love

Will you give me gold polished jewelries?

I only like the silver ones

Gold never suited me, I remember telling you that

but still I kept it even though the gold faded

 

The riddles that you spoke

I never understood them

But made myself believe that I did

For it was your language of love

For it was written from your tar black heart

 

 

The spring is here,

Now the daylight makes me sick

As there’s too much of it

But during the cold days It was what I craved

The heat burning my skin

And making me feel warm No longer though

As the warmth is melting my bones and skin

 

 

I threw the flowers that you gave me 

Which I thought was the gift of love

But now I kind of know those were all last minute gifts

I burned all your twisted words written in those pages As they no longer make any sense

As the daylight isn’t what I crave

 

 

It’s the summer and I want cold days to come again

As this was your favorite

Fall was always my thing

You must be liking this weather

But the daylight is still making me sick

 

 

Oh the leaves are starting to fall

The stripped trees must feel so cold

I found someone to stare them with 

Your memories are now all long gone

He buys me tulips every time we meet

The flower that I actually love

He bought us matching silver rings 

It’s like you were never there

 

But I still see you sometimes

I tell myself that’s not what I want

But I feel you everywhere

How I screamed and stormed out

I never feel that way with him

Not even a little bit

Not even at all

 

 This feeling isn’t something I should miss
But I can’t help it at all

You maimed me so bad

Now I can’t be healthy at all

You made me love roses

And words that are so complicated

You made me loathe everything I used to love

Author's Note

This is a really old poem but it haunts me till this day, Please let me if there is any room for improvements.

Reviews

[Beren Ongur]

This is so powerful that I can understand why you are still haunted by it. This feels so familiar that I want to comment on each part separately. Before I start, I want you to know how well you write, how well you explain, and that I feel your pain. one of the BESTS for me!
I really like the first part, how every memory, every special thing is put into words by you and made more meaningful. And it is a perfect explanation that a memory from an old love will stay there no matter what.
Even tho if he gives you thorns, you believe that it will come from a rose.

"The letters that you gave me started feeling like mere words"
what a powerful words, oh i mean sentence...

Every part hurts. Honestly, I think it a bit similar to my writing style, so I feel your pain on my skin.
I understand every part, I feel every part. You have described your pain very strongly, I am really proud and amazed. Everything you have told me was enough to bring an image to my mind, the paleness of the lips, the gradual end of the relationship, the faint anger in between and then only a clear blue sadness.

but then the part where you understand how effortless and simple a person he is. The classicity of roses...
We all thought we were responsible for the lack of attention from a stupid man who gave us the bare minimum. We've all been down this stupid road. I love that this is a universal poem.

and finally someone who actually listens to you and prepares to show their love according to your love language, and you still regret cleaning up old wounds... it was all because of him. I get it.

that last part is so deep.
"He buys me tulips every time we meet
The flower that I ----actually---- love
He bought us matching silver rings
It’s like you were never there"

"You made me love roses
And words that are so complicated
You made me loathe everything I used to love"

damn.
whatever i say to this seems like it won't be enough, sorry. but i really liked your poem so much. i will definitely read it again and again, and i know a few friends i show this poem to will think of someone...

you are very successful and i am glad you came to the cafe. i hope you continue writing. i feel very lucky to have read your poem

[sailesh]

Thank you so much for your words, I just opened a new account today so I still don't know how things work. I will definitely be posting more poem like these.

[Beren Ongur]

Hey, if there is anything i can help you, I'm here, you can text me! I would try my best! Take care!

[Wanzala Meshack]

This poem is a deeply moving journey through the stages of love, loss, and healing. The way you've captured the lingering presence of past memories and the eventual acceptance and growth is truly poignant. Each metaphor and imagery evoke such vivid emotions, making the reader feel every ounce of longing, pain, and transformation. The contrast between the old and new love, and the ultimate realization of self-worth, is beautifully portrayed. Your words have an incredible power to resonate with anyone who has experienced the complexities of love. Thank you for sharing this hauntingly beautiful piece.

[Coyote Poetry]

The poetry is very good dear sailesh. I liked the repetition, the use of seasons and flowers. I liked the want and the wishes in the words. You made the reader believe and understand the emotions of the words.
"You made me love roses
And words that are so complicated
You made me loathe everything I used to love"
The above lines. So powerful, so honest. Thank you dear poet for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote